Written By: Ash Catcher
I think I need some guidance on this one.
This place is big enough yet we still have our weekly run-ins.
I thought it would be louder living with a musician.
But your room is awfully quiet, guess you must be solving fission.
You all used to be my Maine squeeze, but now you don’t mean anything to me.
In fact at this point I find more pleasure, and comfort housing Brie.
I am sure there was a time where you were higher on my list.
Everyone eventually wants a little bit more of me, and that is just the gist.
Crushed underneath your expectations.
But nobody teaches you about foundations.
Things will crumble, and then you will fall.
I think they call that one dropping the ball.
It is all about boundaries, and how far you want to go.
If you want to make some waves, you’ll need some stones to throw.
Splash onto the canvas, after all it is all a show.
This setting for “this” I had no idea was called Roxborough.
Maine squeeze saddled up right next to me.
Parasitic, not at all that optimistic, so we agree to disagree.
The cracks in your personality-
Showed up early on, all the blow ups, no neutrality.
Red flags waving in my face,
But I chose to see the good in you.
And you chose to lie about your family, and birthplace.
Had to connect the dotted lines, and half ass construe.
Your whole story, well now I just insist.
Doesn’t matter anyhow, you're just another on the black list.
All about connivence, license, and compliance please.
Tired of your negative bullshit, and how you freaked out over bees.
Written By: Ash Catcher
You played on stage, and I got a raise.
Life is kinda sorta weird these days, all I want to do is sleep in and blaze.
I guess you could say we are killing it at “this thing”.
Been a minute since I thought the date was still 2019.
Take a day off because it’s been about 2 weeks.
I couldn’t tell you the last time I got a decent night's sleep.
Just another hour to sleep in, hug you and the cat.
The best time spent on myself, just now involves a top coat that is matte.
Things are progressing. The year is almost through.
Been avoiding my car lately, stagnant, forever parked coup.
Something that I once loved, doesn’t hit like it used to.
Driving reminds me of you, but it's really worth it when I do.
Whenever I get a free day this summer.
I hope to get out of here, a few distant zip code numbers.
But it's okay, I am fine, working my ass off all the time.
It's a long way to the top, but even longer from the bottom, so climb.
This has been quite the year.
Many leave, and disappear.
But that's fine, I am still around.
Because I have nowhere else to be found.
I am here for a bit, but not forever.
My new motto of 2021: whatever, whenever, wherever.
Be a little uncomfortable, don't always be you.
I always splurge now, but never on cashews.
It's too expensive, and I can't justify
Spending 7 dollars. It seems like a lie.
It's only nuts, what's the big idea!
Trader Joes for every meal.
What a time to try, and thrive.
Heart made out like a hard drive.
Cohabiting in this audacity.
I am about to hit full level mental capacity.
Written by Ash Catcher.
It is no secret I like weird things, aside from the typical cult movie, tarot reading, odd ball historic figure idealization, there is one other thing I am very passionate about: My intuition, the ability to just uh how do I say this without sounding like a fucking freak I just um know things, to put it nicely. I went to a party the other night and I was talking to this girl, I have never met her in my life but I knew for a fact and laughed at everyone trying to guess her birthday month. I took one look at her and I said ” Your birthday is in April, you are a Taurus” I hit it on the nail, and sure you can argue but Ash there is a 1/12 chance of you guessing right, and yes you would be right but I got her day right too. The 22nd. I have never met this person in my life, I just have a weird kinda sense about people, and it is sometimes the most randomized shit comes out of my mouth. I just can't explain it, but damn do sometimes I cling to it.
Intuition is defined as a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning. Again… something you just know. But how does one even begin to pick apart this kinda weird phenomena. I love collecting data, whether it is going out to a trivia night, or doing some in depth research on a new crush, If I am interested enough in something I will find out everything. Call it what you want, obsession, or as I see it sometimes self reservation. I know I am not the only one guilty of this. People hide shit, we are not perfect, everyone is flawed.
Some can even argue that intuition is linked to intelligence. While I feel like there is a partial truth to this, I have had the most random encounters say almost subliminal things to me that correlate with myself and my life. But I also suppose we can create our own reality, and in some red pill way maybe we all really are on the same spiritual journey, and we really all interconnected. OR this program is full of bugs, and viruses.
Using my intuition is fucking taxing, it takes a huge amount of energy, and not only have I felt like weird shifts lately, I just feel like “Something is up”. I take a lot of naps, something I have never had to do before Covid. Even then I sleep 8 hrs no problem, even when drinking coffee at night, I don't have issues sleeping anymore- if anything I feel too awake, take that how you want.
Intuition goes beyond a gut feeling, it is more than a feeling, it is just something you just have the need to do. It is something that just randomly rolls in like a tide. When manifesting, it is best to think something and wait rather than just blurt something out, I have done that a lot recently, and while it comes into full fruition. It is best not to go overboard, although I do enjoy when I think about a person and then they suddenly show up. That has been pretty cool lately.
I am going to expand more on this in another post because if you read enough it is a great little rabbit hole to get into.
Until then express some gratitude and be happy with what you do have. .
written by Ash Catcher.
When it comes to you, nothing could come second.
When I open you up I think I have died and gone to “Heaven”.
Bottomless mimosas? No, I'll choose black coffee.
It is the only stuff that works these days, everyone now acts like pandemic zombies.
Fluorescent lighting is never flattering- especially after 2 A.M.
But my mug is starting to look effervescent, how many did I just slam?
Caffeine overload in the making, too much hot bean water, makes me shaking.
Never was the best for me, always been shit at decision making.
“No you decide, you pick….” I can barely croak back.
Oh shit what sign? I mean what is your zodiac?
I am not too sure we are compatible, I am sorry I think I need to go.
Not going to set you off, or give you anymore ammo.
Empty those emotionless bullets all in one.
My life feels like a series of universal signs and reruns.
Cause everything that happens to me, happens in diners.
If you want to make up for anything, I could use some new tires.
Over-easy makes me queasy. I just can't eat eggs.
Halloween is coming up soon, and I really don’t want to be Greg.
I could use some carbs, maybe a sandwich or two.
We all lost our minds because of another flu.
Why are condiments ( always left out?)
Why is my phone listening to all these ad bombardments?
How is it that when breakfast comes to mind,
Breakfast meats in PA can't seem to get aligned.
Side dish, side piece, it is all the same.
Fuck off from the city eventually, and live in the woods in an A- Frame.
My time is limited here.
Nothing is forever, some things just disappear.
Written By: Ash Catcher
Hey, it has been a minute! A lot of changes have happened in the past two weeks, I gained a lot of good things, all good things. I also gained an extra year of life so that has been nice as well. So coming off all the birthday hullabaloo I was so thankful I had the opportunity to check a few things off of my bucket list! I went to Cherry Springs for my birthday, it is the darkest spot in all of PA- about a little over 4 hrs outside of Philadelphia where I am currently residing, there is this astronomy field where you can see everything well. I saw stars like real fucking stars for the first time in my life. It was a sobering experience. Sometimes you just need to look up and realize how small you really are. I saw the Milky Way- in its raw entirety despite the clouds which kept rolling in made it all the more spooky. There is so much more out there than you, your drama, and your bullshit.
I stayed at a beautiful AirBnB over a cafe and art gallery, about a 20 minute trip from Cherry Springs National Park, I traveled deep within the Tioga State Forest, I really needed to just get out and stick my feet on something other than concrete. On the way I made it to the Kinzua Sky Bridge- it has been something I wanted to see for years now all of these things that I wanted are finally coming to.
This Sky Bridge was something else; it survived a tornado almost 20 years ago. So if a man made structure can withstand an environmental disaster, any problem I face in my life should be a piece of cake… uh birthday cake. I was happy to get out a bit and take some time off from work. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had 3 days off in a row. I am so thankful for this opportunity and will be consciously traveling more this summer. Slowly getting back to Ash.
I also got to see the “ PA Grand Canyon” I have never seen the real one out West but best be sure I plan to do that too. It looks like a glorified gorge, but it was only 10 minutes out of my way on my way back to Philly. So why not? It was decent, lots of people, and a pretty extensive gift shop. I really want to go back and hike in Tioga and Susquehanna State First Parks more. I just need some trees. I love that feeling of feeling small in nature. It is such a grounding experience.
Anyone who wants to take a hike hit me up! See you next week!
By Ash Catcher.
Once a week, I think it is neat
That we like to put something out that is tangible, and concrete.
Every time it happens to be, a Wednesday that I can see.
Under sharing, over posting, I need to stop highlighting my coffee.
You wrote a song about this day.
And I work on this day at the cafe.
Something about Wednesdays.
Ash, bring it back to present day.
That I am out there working, and you are on your couch.
Slouched over a computer, fix your posture- ouch.
Trapped in a place where nobody can stand to be.
I sometimes question the legitimacy of your “company”.
Take that however you please.
I can still taste the animosity.
One day a week where I spill my guts.
Kinda like you did with Chestnuts.
Koalas seem like little bitch bears, and waffles are too sticky.
I should be more careful of my wording, But it all starts to get fuzzy.
I am glad we both just get a day.
Well good night, I am gonna go away and hit the hay.
The other week, my brother, and I had a free day, something that has been a huge rarity in my life as of late. I chose to go to this abandoned Terracottas Factory in New Jersey. What I don’t like more than a 3.5 hr round trip to see abandoned shit on a sunny day, I will never pass that up. Off the weirdest Blair Witch like road I have ever encountered, past train tracks and down a ways I always have this weird feeling in my stomach when I am going somewhere new for the first time. It reminded me of a bit of Walking Dead and Mad Max. Someone I am pretty sure was also getting their engagement photos done here with their Bronco. Like I said, a bit dystopian so close to the beach too, but still 20 minutes from Surf Taco.
The Brooksbrae Terracotta Factory in the Pine Barrens gives me some major nostalgia for Centralia if you don't know me or you live under my rock collection. I have been there over 10 times- it's just an abandoned highway. This is just an abandoned structure in the middle of the woods. If I was a 7th grade boy with a paintball gun I would have a small heart attack.
The decaying Brooksbrae Terracotta Brick Factory sits over the railroad tracks along Pasadena Woodmanse Road in the tiny New Jersey town of Pasadena. Though the location is in Google Maps, the directions bring you to a dead end of residential homes. Upon my arrival, oddly, there was a shit ton of graffiti on the road thus indicating we had arrived. Sweet, rad, cool we made it alive. I got spooky vibes but didn’t pick up anything really that unsettling. I know the Pine Barrens in NJ is kinda known to house some questionable activity. I did get Rob Zombie, Devils Rejects vibes.
I think I just like having a niche little hobby that only a few other people can get. I get excited seeing other people outside at the same spots as me. It feels like a little club. I am always doing research, asking my other photography friends where the best little spots are. I just want someone to go on cool summer adventures, I practically live at the beach on my days off, this summer I have a whole check list of places to go, boxes to check and pictures to take. I would certainly come back here again. It was a quick hit in and out in 30. I am really there for the journey you know- the destination well that can change.
I have a feeling that this summer is going to be interesting for sure.
Until next week I promise it will be a bit longer.
By Ash Catcher
Photo Credit: Harley Maile, Photodelphia
It is all a numbers game, or so I am told.
7 is supposed to be lucky, and it shows.
But for me it has been the number nine.
I have no idea how it started, but it happens all the time.
In ’99 I saw Phantom Menace.
Oh good god another Star Wars reference, lord help us.
In 09’ I saw that movie nine.
It was pretty good, and got me interested in graphic design.
That was also the year I saw AFI with you
I was freshly out of my upmtenth 302.
Fall was tough that year, and winter also
That was it, one and done, gone and blocked now, built up a wall.
It all comes back to that number nine.
I have lost track of how many times you have used “ I am sorry, lets try again”
Iets chalk it up to 9 give or take.
Each time I let you back in my life it has always been a mistake.
But damn can you blame me, you raised an optimistic.
But buy ’19 I know better now, fuck you, fuck off- I am done with this.
I will never let someone run me like I let the 9 of you.
I am done with that submissive shit, this lesson was long overdue.
Written by Ash Catcher
The past couple of weeks have been interesting to say the least. Uh not sure how to put this any other way other than I have been on a somewhat informal spiritual manifestation kick. What exactly is manifestation, one of my new friends asked me that question the other day, and in response I gave the most Ash like response, I changed the topic to something else. I am not 100% sure what it is but it has been happening an awful lot. I think about people, and then they appear, I am listening to music while running and a song comes on that I am thinking of unprovoked. I was looking for a rock the other day in Wissahickon to take home, and then this girl walked by and gave me a rock that was in her hands. It is small things like this that I know can add up to something bigger. The house I was looking at the other day, I got that now ( I am just not looking forward to moving for the 1,000th time but that is okay) This new place has a sunroom, a grotto, a huge tub A Christopher WALKIN closet, I had to - everything I can ever want- and I can't forget the most important thing I have manifested this year was Banner. <3
But Ash you always go on about nothing without saying something so I am going to school you on a little crash course on manifestation. It is 110% a mindset. Get your mind right, and everything will follow suit. Manifestation is defined as an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something, especially a theory, on an abstract idea. ( I have a shit ton of those)
Now Spiritual Manifestation is something that I have been more centered on is that the theory that through regular meditation and positive, constructive thought, you can make your dreams and desires become reality, Spiritual Manifestation holds that if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, it will happen. It's kinda like that feeling you have in your gut, you know it's there but you can see it- it's a feeling- that the whole universe is behind it kinda thing.
I moved to Manayunk a little before Christmas of 2019 and ever since then there has just been an odd ass series of events that have led to this huge chunk of self discovery and independence. I barely notice other people anymore. I think the odd thing about the Yunk is that it is like this weird limbo state, moving here taught me that whatever I put my mind to I can not only achieve it, I feel super at home, I love being around trees, and still being close to the city. It is a really good location. I have found weird little things and people and I have to say I just think it is the universe confirming it all. I feel like everything is divinely guided one way- I will be sure to touch more on this in another blog post. I would love to talk about it more.
I find the more friends I make in the area the more I can look past the “Inauthenticity” that I see on occasion. It is easy to look past when things have made an enormous turn around. I love being at home, with my cat, records, art, and books, I just have this infinite need to create things that I care about. I love going out, now that things are opening back up and seeing music again, and hiking and doing Ash things too but I am doing them more sparingly. I reserve my energy now for myself and put myself first, something I have struggled with for a super long time. I haven’t had a lot of time off yet from work but I have never loved what I have done more- and yes I miss teaching but I think I just like the fact I can make people happy, and I am a very good listener. I love what I am doing with my life- I am nowhere near as complacent as I once felt- I just feel so light.
One more thing I want to say about Manifestation- cause I am writing this in the car on the way to the beach- you gotta put yourself first when you manifest. Avoid what I like to call low vibe people, energy vampires, people who always complain, and bring drama your way. Avoid those people and it is amazing what you can accomplish: Spiritual Manifestation is the theory that through regular meditation and positive, constructive thought, you can make your dreams and desires become reality. Spiritual manifestation revolves around the New Age concept of the Law of Attraction. Simplified down to a single statement, the Law of Attraction states that think and act in a positive way, good things will happen to you, but if you think and act negatively, bad things will happen to you.
So think positive, eat some veggies, drink water (not alcohol), stick to those boundaries, and keep your mind right!
Written By: Ash Catcher
There are a handful of remedies that seemingly have the power to abate — or at least provide comfort in the face of — nearly any problem at hand. I am not talking about another acid trip altho that seems to reset just about any problem I have had in my life. A nice, long shower, an extra few hours of sleep, and a hot mug of your favorite tea can have real healing powers, I am talking more wholesome then MDMA- So it’s no surprise that, in the throes of 2021 we’re constantly reaching for the kettle.
Right now, tea culture is at its peak ( I think!). You’ve likely found yourself scrolling past targeted ads for herbal elixirs or swiping through endless Instagram stories depicting still-steaming mugs. You’ve heard celebrity endorsements for choice brews and you’ve read about “wellness tea” in magazine roundups devoted to self-care. The stuff is more popular than ever but...why now?
I am a tea snob, if you thought my coffee addiction was bad wait till you see me compare kettles. I am a pour over addict- and apparently you can do pour overs with loose tea. GAME CHANGER! Alert the media and my big ass tea box on my kitchen window sill. I am not sure anyone was aware but this past year aged me just shy of like 30 years so now I am in bed by 9, and haven’t had a warm cup of tea in almost 3 years…. I just forget about it okay. I hosted a party one time and drank 12 cups of tea. I am just a feen for the leaves.
Call it what you want there is just this weird satisfaction of having a warm comforting drink- dont get me wrong I drink iced tea in the summer like its going out of style- I do my own blends- I'll get pretty wacky with the combinations too- we go beyond the realms of raspberry mint- or blackberry sage iced tea altho both are good and I would either offer lemonade mixed in with that and/ or some boba pearls. Why not get fancy? Life is too short and if I want something I want it to be worthwhile! —
UNTIL next week- that is the tea!