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Ash Wednesday! Artemis

8/30/2022

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     August 29, 2022 9:36 a.m. NASA's new moon program is poised to smash all kinds of records for human spaceflight. Named for the Greek goddess Artemis, Apollo's twin sister, this initiative will put the first woman and first person of color on the moon….  It was postponed. ​
    My alarm went off at 7am. I didn’t wake up at home this morning, the lighting was all wrong- way brighter then I am used to, but the scene was set. I overslept like always but I kept hearing “Artemis.” A google search later I am just happy to know that I still got it. Lately I was feeling a bit skeptical. 

     Artemis controls the moon, and if you know you know- the moon, and I have this love hate dynamic. Just like how I feel about Cypress Hill, or milk chocolate. I get the Appeal for some people but sometimes I just want something much more full-filling. More moon mama shit. 

     If you find yourself in the woods- and you should, you should be disconnected as much and often as possible. If you have been seeing bears, deers, or snakes: I passed one this morning when I went to grab my keys, and find my sunglasses, so I count that . Be sure to keep your eyes peeled, I am hoping this cooler weather wraps up this static. I want it to rain so bad- I need to hear that sound again. 

      Artemis and I have quite the track record, especially when it comes to gathering admires. This huntress, and goddess of wild animals, nature, and the moon will have you looking at the moon wanting to set yourself on fire. I would not personally name something so mechanical and inhuman after something so soft, stealthy and beautiful. She embodies euphoria, and  unlike her brother Apollo, god of the sun, they are complete opposites- she chooses to represent her femininity by the moon, we are always cool, calm, and appear collected. 


     With the promise of cooler weather, and I know I am not alone when saying I cannot wait for autumn this year. I look forward to it every year. Usually on the first day of august I am in full fall mode. This year is a much different feeling. I am tired of sweating, running around- I just want to be still and present- I want to cool down and chill out and look at the moon. I need to get back to base, because this summer has been ridiculously difficult. 

     Artemis 1 was originally scheduled for late 2021, but the launch date has been pushed back to 29 August 2022. Engine problems caused a delay. The next launch window is September 2…. I am not so sure about that. What can I say, sometimes women can be a little difficult. 


See you next Wednesday, 


-Ash ​
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Ash Wednesday! I AM A SIDE OF Parsley: A piece about being unwanted- and everyone’s most loathed garnish.

8/23/2022

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​I AM A SIDE OF Parsley: A piece about being unwanted- and everyone’s most loathed garnish. 
Written By: Ash Catcher 
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I am a side of parsley. 
I just fucking sitting there.
Not doing a whole lot of anything.   
Nobody wants me. 

I am like a side of parsley. 
Just on display, nothing special- on the plate.
And just like my cousin celery, You wont eat me unless you're drunk- I am  bound to decay. 
Nobody wants me. 


A one way trip into the trash. 
I have the audacity to garnish anything from pancakes to potatoes that are mashed.   
I am just fucking tras, leftover vegatation, my very purpouse has now become puzzling. 
Empty calories, taste like water and suffering. 
 

I am a side of parsley 
Dip me in salt water once a year- I am just a walking culinary metaphor. 
I have no idea why people buy me. 
A garnish most grotesque, I hold no value- but damn do I make your chicken breasts. 


I am a side of parsley 
Just a side piece to say the very least. 
I am nothing but a bastard of a plant 
I should be the illegal one, welcome to my TED TALK listen to me rant. 

I am a side of parsley. 
Why the fuck are there so many varieties of me? 
Nobody bothers with me... 
My only job is to garnish your plate. ( I feel like a mistake) 


I am the ultimate side dish, 
The initial side decor- 
The O.G. culinary decoration. 
Plate me you bitch, 15 seconds left- tie that dish together, present me to the judges. 

I am a side of parsley 
Empty- nothing, not caloric. 
Eat me, and nothing happens 
As far as garnishes go I am happy you asked if we associate with the Green Party (DUH) and We’re quite active and political. 

I am a side of parsley 
I hold no purpose that I am aware of 
At least I am not cilantro, and taste like soap despair 
Muddled green madness in your face
I have been casted aside with haste. 
Thrown about with no direction 
Most parsley's fate is not heaven 
We are all someone's parsley. 

I really don’t want to be parsley.  
I wanted to be someone's main course- not a side dish. 
I am a side of parsley- I am a piece of shit. 
I am full of myself- I want to throw everything away, and just quit. 



-Ash ​
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Ash Wednesday! Overbooked

8/17/2022

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​OverBooked 
Written By: Ash Catcher 


Hello, hello! It’s Wednesday yet again, this week I wanted to share some of the most outlandish books that I have come to own in the past 30 years on this space cake of a rock. Currently I have "an office” in my house and I say that loosely because as of May I have been working outside remotely on my back deck getting hecka tan- but in this office happens to be uhhhh like 3 bookshelves and I have two in my room currently. I just got back my big one finally and gave her a stellar paint job. She is saged and ready to get more books put on her! I cannot wait to acquire more. 

     Most of my shelves are categorized by genre loosely- but instead of my records - alphabetical and genre - if I really need a cookbook I know that is going to be kept on the bookshelf closest to the kitchen. Or… are they up and in my room. I’ll have to check on that. Okay so in no particular order I randomly chose a book off of each bookshelf! 
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  1. “Please Kill Me, The Uncensored Oral History Of Punk” Written by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain This was one of the books that I first got at the Newtown Book and Record Exchange back when I lived with my parents- for what is is worth they have a great vinyl selection if you like music from the 70s and 80s- I have been known to skip genres every once and awhile and act like a damn hippy. So I have had this book for almost 20 years- it has survived like 10 punks borrowing it and it has miraculously came back to me every fucking time- to which I am always surprised- very rarely do I lend out books nowadays. This book covers punk on all fronts both coasts in the USA are accounted for- mostly Brooklyn I guess the authors are a tad bit biased and naturally the UK. This thing is riddled with witty interviews, vulgar stories backstage- where let's be honest that is the real show right there. All within less than 500 pages. Word count who the fuck knows! Gahhhh Anarchy responsibly. 

  1. “Shroom” A Cultural History Of The Magic Mushroom.” Written By: Andy Letcher. We all know this so ill be quick to hate alcohol, but drugs when dosed properly, big, big fan of that- Anything psychedelic to make my head feel like a frisbee. This book is broken up into 3 parts and they’re all genus of mushrooms- Agaricus, Amanita, and Psilocybe. This one is particularly interesting in that not only do they break down all the components in these shrooms- covering all topics such as history, archeology, and even chaos magic now who doesn’t like that?! 
  2. “Fifty Shades Of Kale” Written By: Drew Ramsey, and Jennifer Iserloh. I found this book and the Silver Lake Center in Bristol Pa while on a hike with a friend of mine. I instantly loved the pun so much that I snatched it and threw it in the car before we went for our walk. Inside are you guessed it, 50 recipes on Kale- while boring to some I quite like kale, beets, and carrots- I have to be honest the cover jacket is pretty fucking raunchy- I also think its cute when people sexualize vegetables. I have been honked at quite a few times for eating a cucumber whole at a red light. They were kind enough to provide a metric conversion chart too- which we should all use! I really like the Kale Pesto with Toasted Walnuts recipe- all though I always cave and use cashews cause it makes the pesto that much better! Fuck Authority, I’ll use any nut I please. 
  3. “The Year Of The Flood”. Written By Margret Atwood we have all seen or read the  Tale but this book I managed to read in an afternoon at the beach while still getting maximum beach rat sun status! I recall getting the advanced copy back when I worked in a bookshop in high school. When I ordered the real copy I have to say first versions are always riddled with mistakes but they’re fun to find and tend to keep me more engaged. The plot follows two characters, Toby and Ren, whose stories intertwine with each other and, at points, with major characters from Oryx and Crake. Much of the story is told through flashbacks with the two main characters separately surviving the apocalypse described in the previous novel. Who doesn’t love unsesacary confusion flashbacks, plot holes and split story lines- I blame the Twilight Novels for fucking with character  P.O.V because clearly you’re strapped for ideas. 
  4. “Body Astrology”, Written By: Claire Gallager— oh are we surprised I snuck one book on Astrology because I am not. I think I saved the best for last honestly. I don't remember where I got this book. I think it was in one of those I am so manic I have to buy something to calm me down in stages of my life but I am glad I did because this book is great! It's broken up by sign and included everything from possible her;th problems, yoga poses, diet, wellness, and answered my age old question: why air signs have the worst astmatha? You’re so lofty you are air, why are you choking like that? Get this book you'll need a book like this! 





Happy Wednesday! 
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Ash Wednesday! Hold My Drink(s): Why I Broke Up With Alcohol

8/9/2022

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Written By: Ash Catcher 
Photograph Credit: Photodelphia, LLC Harley Maile
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Happy Wednesday! If you are just starting to read these things, Hi welcome, I am Ash, and I guess some people would call me a writer/artist what have you. If you have been reading for the past 2 years of me doing this… go the fuck outside this article can wait but that sun serotonin is gonna hit you so much better than this blog post ever could, I promise you that! ​
Breaking up with Booze: Breaking up with anyone, or in this case anything is never easy, and addiction is not either. It's a weird awkward unspoken relationship with yourself that with the assistance of alcohol seems to just make that person staring back at you in the mirror a bit more palatable. I need it to feel better about myself, or I need it to not be so shy- whatever your logic is its pretty apparent that if you’re building up a tolerance the worse its going to be when you do decide to redact alcohol and just fuck off into the woods cause you can kiss your social life good fucking bye. You’re going to want to spend a few days or weeks… years getting a grip on yourself more or less. I know people that are 20 years sober and I know people that are 20 mins sober. It can vary quite a bit regardless life these days doesn’t just seem unbearable I can see people I have know for years deteriorate infant of me live on IG or Facebook daily- So far in 2022 alone I have lost 5 people to addiction, that averages about 1 person a month- very unsettling. ​
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​Dating and Not Drinking: “Lets go and grab a drink.” Oh actually sorry I cant…… won’t? I am not sure when I came to realize a few tings about dating but the one thing I found was that meeting up for coffee because like a thing of the past- coffee is usually a safe bet because its in the middle of the day and its uh… well its not fucking alcohol. I used to get really defensive and uptight when someone would ask me to meet them for a drink. But now I usually just accept it, skip the soap box, talk about why I cut alcohol and meet up at the bar anyway. When they see me order a cranberry seltzer without the vodka- oh boy do they get a little taken aback. Sorry I am not gonna get sloppy drunk, and come back home with you- I am not sure what about me screams that. I have to get up early in the morning, I never stop working. I do appreciate their efforts, but its a huge turn off and I’ll be very honest Ill never see your stupid ass again if you ask me to spend my time at a bar. I did that already- I am not looking to lose another 10 years of my life thanks. Is that temptation still there, oh boy you bet I just know myself better and would rather not wake up in a dryer again. 
     Isolation Hermit Mode Activated: I am never invited to parties where people are drinking- and I am saving a lot of time and money wasting my energy on intoxicated people. Lately I have actually barely been interacting with people face to face. Quite honestly I am not sure if this was a COVID thing or not but people drain the living life force out of me- like I need to drink hella amounts of water and reach for that special eye cream that one lady swore on at Terrain. It's just draining, and it happened shortly after I stopped numbing myself with alcohol- like I didn’t drink often but once I started I rarely wanted to stop. So it took maybe like three bad nights and I was like hmmm maybe I need to change some behaviors. There was also that one week a few years back where I kept getting drinks that were drugged. I wasn’t surrounded with the best people at the time, and in retrospect I was trying to maybe prove something by ordering an Oatmeal Stout in the middle of the summer but hey- makes for a great story and a little light rambling. I am not telling you what to do with your life. We all have vices, mine are just getting a bit more niche then a few glasses of rose and being hungover the next day, I am opting more for acid and a migraine. Level up! 
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     Sobering Up, and Switching Out: redirection and rehabbing your habits: I think professionals say it takes anywhere from 30 to 90 days to break a habit. I am super thankful that just like when I stopped smoking that I automatically knew I could fall back on running- runner's high is a legit thing and while it doesn’t replace the feeling of having a few beers after a hard day- that shit is well like all this stuff addicting. I love running- lately walking and I am super happy I live in a place where it is pedestrian friendly, I know it's not logical or practical to take 2 hours out of your day to go for a walk but even 20 minutes of movement is technically 20 more minutes more than what you did before you started. Just keep moving. So Cheers, with some cranberry juice ( appropriately sweetened) and some seltzer. I am always here for my friends and family - anyone for that matter that wants to talk about cutting out alcohol. ​
Cheers you degenerates I better see you next Wednesday!




-ASH ​
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Ash Wednesday!  A Little Tower Moment

8/2/2022

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​ A Little Tower Moment
Written By: Ash Catcher 
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Salutations psychotics masterminds! 
Power play with me till I bleed across your social constructed operating table - I mean middle school cafeteria. 
Pull my heartstrings like taffy till my organs are past my knees. 
Down on the floor- now I may not come off as sentimental in the least 
But this nasty scar that runs past my veins and  has begun to AOL slowly drip dry download into my overworked heart 
This shit hurts, I am tired of aching, I am stretched so thin I keep visibly shaking. 
It's been ripped apart before, dismantled for others amusement- but this time seems different.  
Does love ( for others and for myself)  require an ethernet cable to upload efficiently? 

Because this shit is taking forever.
And some days my alignment and frequency are too high to come off my ego driven show. 
So involved and aware why I do things- I am my only critic and advisory. 
Always dishing advice out, but starving myself when it comes to taking it. 
I would rather procrastinate and over think. 
Make the small things seem extra big each week. 

And then the subtle familiarity creeps in… 
You dematerialized at dinner, and I started to dissociate,  like my 160+ gigs of music on my iPod Touch gone in an instant.  
Fuck now what am I gonna listen to now? 
Who will manipulate all these strings coming out of my back? 
More importantly, are we still having pancakes for breakfast tomorrow? 

I try to fill this black hole up- but I think the cement I am using must be expired. 
Nothing plugs up this nothingness- It's growing, but not infinite that would be overreacting. 
You just love overreacting- nope that is just me finally expressing how I feel of years of silence. 
I’ll be the judge of who is hysterical. 
I’ll just show you a fuck ton of indifference; there that should do it. 

I hate feeling so salty. 
Everything breaks easily, I always hurt. 
I don’t feel like leaving my house most days. 
I am manifesting something better- looking at some places in the deserts. 

I can't do another winter here- it may just damn near obliterate me. 
Looking at other avenues, maybe I'll end up floating in The Dead Sea.
Only slightly terrified of what I want to do next. 
Hoping for some positivity- obsessed with space lately, and solar apexes.

​
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-Ash ​
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