​Suds City
Written by Ash Wednesday (in a laundry mat between loads)

​I am just a Starseed in a laundry mat.
Ass glued to a plastic chair 
Book in hand, sit and spin cycle 
Inconsistent incognito rat. 
( Baseball Cap rocking sunglass sporting)

The florescents are unforgiving
Its 2 A.M and I know you're still awake
Because we are tethered forever 
Hit up my phone cause I am down for whatever

Deep diving for that dopamine (fix)
Chasing someone or something always made sense to me ( knock it out and off my list) 
Seeking approval from the most "important"

​Bottom of the barrels
Definitely undeveloped and undecided
Flat and flashy- fake salty and pastry
Soapy waters a classic karmic cycle

Forever looping in the florescent hell hole. 
If I keep staring at this machine 
I am gonna lose my mind and lunch
Microcosmic waterboarding full disclosure this is better then a day at Disneyland

Dissatisfied dissociation up the laundry detergent
Trusting my delusions as they spin on high 
Rolling the credits to all my alternative what ifs
In my last life I think I had a better handle on it all. 

​I am just trying to figure it out
This Human Condition
And what's it is all about
Reading up trying to find the answers, like addition.

Waiting for the collective consciousness to kick in 
This retrograde round about kinda way
Spiraling linear I am dizzy just thinking
Shaking and saying "This is just apart of the journey".

Brillo pads scattered the floor, 
People stop and stare
Getting used to the side eyes for sure 
This town is quiaint but kinda odd 

Not quite Twin Peaks aesthetic
But my asthma seems to think different 
The mold soaked clothing 
Laid abandoned and drying

The non playable people smiling
Hi! Welcome! We're happy you're hear
Take a number and  single serving washer 
Soak it up all these unwanted feelings unbothered 

A.W.

​Written By: Ash Wednesday 

​If the world was ending, you would come over right? 
We could keep it casual- 
Order in
maybe a movie or two like we used to 
If that is alright. 

Since the world is ending, how about Thai? 
I am gonna get shrimp, because fuck it. 
Let's go out with a soft bang
Because I have been screaming inside my head my whole life. 

​And dude, I am tired. 
I am tired of masking, 
of withholding my joy 
all those late nights thoughts and feelings 
I just want to go "home" 

Off this planet if only for just a moment 
Then respond and be born again
right back to it. Grind, depression, little lost lambs 
Whatever this it is I am trying to still discover 

​But if the world was suddenly on fire 
would you be down to share one last cigarette 
and a brief chat 
it doesn't have to be anything crazy 

I would settle for a "Hi, how are you- 
Cause nothing these days phases me. 
War seems imminent, It's too expensive to live 
At least when I am dead and gone it costs me next to nothing to sin. 

​I am always looking for something else, 
something exciting and new. 
I am hoping that this time it's all different 
Another environment, but hopefully I get to find you. 

Before your brain or husk or jellyfied noodle goo solidifies 
I hope that its not to late this next timeline 
I seem to keep fucking this all up repeatedly
and it keeps costing me some lifetimes 

So back to my original question 
If the world was ending 
could I count you to be a guest star on my couch 
one last time 
we can order something 

whatever you want 
I just want you by my side when things go to shit 
and the world restarts. 

- AW

​Narcster
Written by Ash Wednesday

​I am tired of playing house where it's not my home
Cycling through karmic patterns I am looking to burn
Always a fan of coloring
But your color are starting to show through

That fake phoney narcissistic temper tantrums.
Ive done way to much work to entertain this, going ghost like Danny Phantom. 
This shit was cute and all when I was little 
I literally looked up to you 
But now that I am taller I've gotten more vocal and stronger.

​I could ghost you forever
And feel nothing but better
A sigh of relief
A breath without assistance
I have begged you for years to give a shit about me
I am sorry I was the one that finally graduated with your supposed degree. 

But I am 30+ and you dont know the first thing about me 
You spat insults at me when we go out in public and you feel like I get too much attention.
But I'll tell you this, people would approach you more too if you actually believed in things like the middle class, treating wait staff like a human being, and things like inflation. 

​I am sure one day youll get it
And hopefully by that time 
You will stop blaming me for ruining your life. 
You're not a kid anymore, we are both adults 
Its time to stop holding a grudge

I tell you every year I wish you never had me.
Life is unbearable and i blame you 100% 
You selfishly thought you could be a parent 
But your brain wasn't even fully developed yet.

​You couldn't leagally drink at your wedding
Then had me shortly after. 
I am so glad I broke your families generational curse. 
I am planning to die alone with my cat 
I am just a little spicy spinster. 

Congratulations you did it parent of the year
I would turn in my grave if I ever got an "I am proud of you." 
I am so used to being left 
That I just keep on moving and don't give it a second though
Too much time to get a new hold of myself
I am not sure what is what 

Its a sobering feeling being removed from your head
I am so sick of allowing the wrong people that need therapy, an awaking, and are on the rebound mend. 

- Ash Wednesday 

​Casting Call 
Written by Ash Wednesday

Casting in a shared shadow
That I have been there once before
Written down upon the walls
Catching up to me before I fall. 

Let's go honestly
And let out a silent collective Siren 🚨 Scream
Blown away past the heartache 
I am going to be the one who was forever
"The right girl, but the wrong timing."

​But with time to me just a construct
It is something to be manipulated 
Come on backwards to me 
Let's all silently calmly be.

Check the mental gymnastics for the day
I am just looking to relax and play
Maybe steal your heart for a minute
Definitely take a T shirt or two

Cozy myself inside the 4 chambers of your heart
It was like I was there from the start 
Pull me close to you
Meshed insides no longer just two.

I am so sorry for not speaking up about how I felt and feel about you
It's been a while since I heard your voice but 
I replay your voicemails and fall apart inside

​( and wonder how the ever loving fugucccck you knew my given government name) 

Just wanted to make sure you knew I think the whole world of you 
What fabricated time did you want to meet up in the ethos? The cosmos? A multitude of multiverses.

I'll be there for you in every timeline
​
Ash Wednesday