Can't believe I was going to help you with your shit The next day you tell me you just want to quit What folks say about you in the scene is true I knew I would never really matter to you But I got some news for you and take it with all the salt I know that you were cheating on me, but you were just an option from the start. That's just the honest truth. I am done bullshitting you. I think it's entirely entertaining that you're helping your ex pay her rent. When you wouldn't even pay for dinner, what that meant? See I think you're a fucking joke who delivers lies like lines. But that's what I get from trusting a Pisces man for the second time. Oh fuck a ghost. She is "abusive and crazy and the worst". No dude you're just full of shit apparently those pills on your bathroom counter ain't working. Why don't you take another line take another hit. Numbing out on mgs high off your bull shit. You know that dinner plate of powder I am not supposed to know about. You know how I feel about that shit, and you're really doing that much amount. Oh fuck a ghost!
I think maybe meeting you and your mom was the worst. Entertaining as fuck watching you bomb on stage. Thought you were smart enough but your body is fucking decay. Wish I had accepted that beer when she met me that day. I would have thrown it at you and your ex on stage. How's that triangle going? Is this a little obtuse? Heard she is with someone else, fuck you kids are loose. You'll die alone And be a ghost to me like everyone else. Best of like dude With your addictions and your self. A.W.
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Coming In With Lies And People On The Side. Written by Ash Wednesday MY love languages include but not limited to cleaning out your refrigerator. Let me know if you have heard this one before I am done being your neighbor. I am playing it cool 444 all the emotions I have for you But my proximity could have been a trickster to pursue. That fox in my backyard is lucky. And boy like you he is charming, snacking on turkey That I leave out daily It worked for my cat, now they all know how to play me. Do you have a good idea of how to fix your way out? As if I recall before you and I have had quite the drought Coming in with lies and people on the side Third party intigers, very much not gonna let that slide. Right now I am going to be more than fine. But you need to latch onto others to survive. And feed off their energy Like a parasitic celery All water nothing to you No substance always defaulted to withhold & withdrew Coming back in this time I am "for real " Skeptical Slavic, haha😂 okay hit me up when you've healed. A.W.
Cat Fight 101. Written by Ash Wednesday You told me not to worry about her ( That she was psycho and absurdly abusive) But I saw you played fiddle beside her at one of her gigs last week. Yeah okay, and I am the one with trust issues. This is so and so insert former flame name I'll love them always and forever And constantly compare the two of you Although I'll tell both of you this never. You read my journal even though I left it open for display This wishy washy bipolar behavior Is something I am used to anyway. Whatever your about to text and say, best of luck to what you say. Yeah okay, and I am the one with trust issues. "I'll probably project my insecurities on to you and them Tell my friends you're bat shit so I have you all to myself I am just putting on a show and pretending to be someone else. But I am a better liar then a listener and I am a shitty fucking actor actually. I'll try my best to triangulate you two. But that's more then twice I've fucked up I get unlimited chances right? To spread my lies time and time again? To change the narrative for my own benefit. To me it's not selfish behavior. I am the victim see, she was batshit All she did was love me unconditionally, and we both know this. Yeah okay, and I am the one with trust issues. I am going to be a little blunt for these next stanzas: So quick to jump from relationship to relationship But you'll string me along for months. Give the shirt off your back for random strangers But this one is giving me some issues and I am having a little harder time training her. Snuggles up with another EKG in hopes that it helps to heal my battered EGO for me . Not sure who or what they see when they think they're being slick with me. Because your pattern recognition is abismal You are easy to read, and I read at a much higher reading level then you. At this point this shit is boring. If you're going come in and out whenever you want you need a subscription. How to try and construct a cat fight.
I am not sure if that's right. I am a cat person So best of luck So... You know I am really not gonna give two fucks. AW "Ash Wednesday" Written by: Self Hi my name is Ash: Ash Wednesday, Ash from Atomic, Lenz, Ash Catcher, Ash not Ashley and Just Ash. I am a: not sure how to answer that one, I do a lot because I don't want to ever just be known for only doing one thing. That's too mundane and boring and we can't handle that now can we. Hi my name is Ash Wednesday I am named after this silly little holiday where people smear their own selves with little lower case T's. Before giving up something for 40 days and nights. Hi my name is Ash, My personal life and personality have in the past been called infectious. I like to make people feel good, but very rarely are people generous and interested in me. Not what I can just do for the them and how I can make them feel. Hi my name is Ash I am notorious for staying in one sided relationships, and will often times give people the benefit of the doubt and think "Nah, they're not so bad I can help them." Mentality. Hi my name is Ash... I don't like to stop moving Hi my name is Ash I read and read into things too much Hi my name is Ash I really really love my cat, Banner. Hi my name is Ash I really really miss my Mini Cooper's Hi my name is Ash very often I feel excluded, left out, and fear people hate me. Hi my name is Ash very few people know my actual full name, I don't really associate or care for those people anymore. Hi my name is Ash. It is very very very hard to earn my trust, if you lose it. Best of luck trying to get it back. Hi my name is Ash. If you keep anonymously messaging me for a year and not come forward and admit who you are, believe me I am not going to regret it but you may.
Hi my name is ASH WEDNESDAY I am going to keep calling myself an artist until something else makes more sense. - A.W. Ritual is Repetitive Written by Ash Wednesday Ritual is Repetitiveness ready to repeat again and again over and over again. Ritual is Repetitiveness ready to go home at the drop of a hat. Fold into yourself, you're welcome to come home anytime. Home is fine with me Forever and I'm going on the same page on this one. Ritual is Repetitiveness ready to die on your downward spiral. Distance between me and the floorboards I'll forwardly try to ground my toes in the sand The sinking ritual The playing and manipulation of earth The ground me and you both walk on My my how this world has turned Upside-down But the moon is a crescent And my word are obsessive On repeat Till I hit a wall or regression The ritual is repetitive... It's relaxing and relevant As smooth as the weather has been I'll have to be more in the collective But the others are interested in the work that you do The repetitive practice the same thing never new The ritual is repetitive and I am not sure How else to explain this without sounding like a bore But I vow to be able to put it all to action Manifesting into existence exactly what I was talking Folding into myself
Late in the morning My favorite time to connect I feel you unearthing Having lunch with a lunatic Sounds all the more energy zapping Tired and true I wish we were both napping. Ritual is repetitive Ritual is really about listening Ritual is repetitive and messy Elemental and heady. - Ash Wednesday S.A.D.D.I.E B.A.D.D.I.E Written by Ash Wednesday Come off the couch Pull yourself from your bed The darn dark keeps fucking with The circadian rhythm in my head. Seasonal saddled sadness Weighting down the scales Unbelievably unhappy Unbalanced and shakey According to you this is the normative I want this to end all this suffering Peel yourself off the floor Flood yourself with water Recall that you haven't eaten yet this week And you will cry habitually in the car and shower But I want you to know this However how small That dopamines coming Just got to break up the monotony And have some fun And go for a drive The weirdest things I do in winter. I wish it wasn't so cold so I could walk I wish the days weren't so long I would do anything for a NA margarita and some sun Cause I am a lil saddie baddie I can barley contain My increasing sadness And all my salad plates All day long not enough sun I am a lil saddie baddie Trying to snuff out my depression With weighted and heated blankets So many salt baths I stumble out shaking So much overtime and overstimulation at work My body gets so sick being so close to Merk. A.W.
White Honda/Mazda/Ford and Your Dad's Old Monte Carlo. Written by Ash Wednesday You can afford a trip to Italy but you have a broken sink... You owe me half still you think I forget about who owes me? I never forget who owes me.
Both air signs parents so absent minded Family must have vacated Earth and moved to Alderan. Driving around in your white Honda/Mazda/Ford Oh yeah and your dad's old Monte Carlo Terrible fucking shit happened in the back of those cars. Things I need to revisit years later in therapy. Things that take forever to registry I am not going anywhere in you white Honda/Mazda/Ford oh yeah and your dad's old Monte Carlo. Sounds good to me Take what you can from me and leave Honk and I'll appear Like an apparition, or an appetizer Something to get you started. If I ever see you driving around in your white Honda/Mazda/Ford Oh yeah and your dad's old Monte Carlo I will drop your file anonymously. Haha oh well then you will probably get some hits And for kicks and shit I'll just be sitting back on heated seats and recall those days back to where I was so brutally honest and how brutally I was treated in your white Honda/Mazda/Ford Oh yeah and your dad's old Monte Carlo Ash Wednesday The Center Of The Moon 🌙 Written by Ash Wednesday This property is a lot of work I am so sorry for the late response But I am not sure if you are going to be able to get it done. The moon is a little bit of a scam There is a lot of people that are inside I am trying to hide with my friends and family We are trapped inside the moon The movies are all true We are a projected copy of the sun A plane is coming We need to run To mars or Pluto we don't care where I am trying to get it to you The dark side of the moon You can come over whenever you want That's what I was thinking You can do it if you want Exactly what is it I can do for you? And I am so sorry for the late response What about you and your whatever she is It's so cute that you cry in the car It's so good to hear that you are doing well I am so sorry for your loss Here shove it back and up your ass Oh no I am sorry Are you offended? Oh no I am sorry Am I misrepresented? You can come over
And be the center of the moon You can come over whenever Looks like a good time to get it together And I am so happy for you And probably will be proud On the day you conquer your demons Or at least put them in their places. You can always come home To the moon and back You can stop staring up at the sky at night Gazing for something more Leaving all human things behind And fly yourself to the highest of highes Actually you would love it up here. I am almost certain of it. Ash Wednesday Eyes Know Written by Ash Wednesday I am common law married to my work computer. She is just as touchy and temperamental as I was at her age. But when sparks fly you'll be the one that's calling I am sorry for the way I treated you in the past. And I'll smile and simply respond with an "I know." " All Good, No Worries.' You must think I am pretty stupid." Or with a: "Couch or Out kinda night?' All depends on who is fronting the voice box that night. Who is running the radios frequency station. Who knows what time it is you'll call. But I pick up on patterns pretty well. Because I am paid to observe a lot of things Some of obvious, others are unseen. Did you think I really had all these talents for nothing? I haven't been the most forthcoming lately, or have I been forgetting? Eyes know what you are doing And wearing, and listening to and sweating over What keeps you up at night, and the saddest I can see and feel that sadness miles away. I don't even have to be in the same hemisphere to hear your collective cries. And I am sorry I thought you knew what you were getting into a ghost of a person who was barely there to begin with. But who sells secrets, and then disappears. Who is so fragile, I will break in your hand Shattered like a lightbulb that got to hot on me and exploded. She is hard to read, but she loves to squirrel little clues for you to find later. I am sorry for your confusion, this isn't a conflict of interest, or an attack of the intimacy of my affection. Take care and note what I am willing to write I like to see you sweat. And if you're finding the false trails, we'll just so you know I leave little traps for fun. To see who is really listening, and watching and observing. Eyes know
What makes you sweat at night Eyes know What makes you blind to the light I have to get my fix of course How else can I help so many people You should have understood that from the beginning You knew what I was before you applied for the position. Happy New Year's I hope you continue to take a look at yourselves and see the patterns that you habitually hide, and sweep under the rugs from yourself. I wish you nothing but presents. And welcoming everyone and all elements. Eyes know you'll do great. This is your year to thrive To break all these stereotypes And I'll be along for the ride. Ash Wednesday "Unboxing" by Ash Wednesday. At some point in the morning When the sun meets the planes My eyes get an eye full Of something that is not going to be believed or explained C'mon what's up with you. You say about that little demon ( on your shoulders) I am tired of playing These hands are burning and screaming With odd offerings new and old Summer sunlight summoning the devil Fuck ok I'll play a little tune with you What's the harm, in just one song Fiddling with time realities for fun Chaos causing fucking harping 1 am in the frickin morning This dance is long drawn out and done. Every 555 You see a 666 Every 555 You see a 666 And.... When I am bored I summon you just for fun All to just reject you, a waste of breathe from lungs Got to set my office almost on fire Just to get a response back from your demon ass You said I check all your boxes But honey I can't be contained so kick rocks and I'll see your fucking fake ass in the desert The ending it deserves Dried up And dead inside I am hoping to have my turn To fuck around and find out with the devil What are you doing today? Want to sweat it out? Contrasting some sort of chorusing summons I am trying to grow flowers out of my element Fuck your boxes I am growing peonies that you promised me Too many moons ago So cute I get to play with your demons The sound of sorrows The best thing I've heard since tomorrow It's a good thing to do You can come over and whip out your mind Sharp little frickin forked tounge Soothing snake Placated masses Doomed to repeat mistakes. Ash Wednesday
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August 2023
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