By: Ash Catcher
Photo Credit: @ugly.luck.heaven
Location: Cafe Volo, Manayunk PA.
It's alright to be unwell.
It's nothing major, maybe some days it's just a spell.
It's alright to not be okay.
I think at this point everyone these days is a little gay.
You don't have to always feel satisfactory.
But please stop eating all the snacks in the pantry.
You don't have to seek anyone's approval.
But self improvement is crucial.
As long as you keep trying, who really cares.
Trading software for eclairs.
It’s fine to not be up to mark.
Because of Covid, I’ll probably never go to another amusement park.
Life is never up to par anymore.
The highlight of my week has been the Traders Joes in Ardmore.
Things are a bit different now, and it's kinda shitty.
But that's okay cause at least we both have kitties!
Things aren’t even close to being copasetic
That one AJJ song that ended in parasympathetic.
It’s fine if things aren't going so swell.
Cannot believe it’s been over a year since I was gonna meet Drake “Bell”
- See ya next Wednesday!
Here is something that I had to to be the littlest bit high to come into realization. ( I am typing this with one hand to, my cat is heck a needy this morning) I cringe at the thought of me have graduated college almost 10 years ago, some people think I have very little to show for it- I am not focusing on those people today- instead I am more focused on how much I have learned outside of a state instituted learning facility. You’re right that was a Suicidal Tendencies reference, that's literally the best way I can sort of describe my time at college.
I learned a lot academically, but nothing I learned in college really prepared me for daily life struggles. I am an artist. I didn’t take any personal finances, I know zilch about the stock market, nor do I really care to. I guess really the only useful thing I did learn and graced my semi developed adult brain with was learning, and becoming moderately good at learning another language.
Learning Russian, while I am no way not the best opened a lot of doors for me, I started teaching at Russian speaking school, got a real taste for the culture, literally I am mostly sour cream, if you have had a late night diner run with me you know Betty, at Suburban Diner just hands that shit out to me. Learning Russian sparked something else in me too, it was that I noticed I was never satisfied. If I finished a project, as soon as I handed it in- instant regret, I would always say to myself I can do better, I can push more, I can be more. My take on college was much more serious than in high school, I did not give two flying fucks about high school. However I felt like my parents had so much expectation for me to even attend college that I do what I do with most things…. I rush through them. I don't take my time, I feel like sometimes if I can get away with the bare min I will. Learning in a classroom isn’t for everyone, trust me I have been on both sides of that smart board I know.
Nowadays, I obtain most of my information from reading. Yes like from a book, but also I am on Reddit way too much- But yea books, I have a lot of those and in an enormous variety of different topics, and sizes. To anyone who had the displeasure of helping me move, I know they’re heavy, and yes I do have a Barnes and Noble Membership still, why, do you need to borrow it? Recently I have been even more into spirituality, I guess more so than I used to be, I am not 100% cause you know this could be the all up in my head, and then again maybe not? I see WAY too many synchronicities, repeating patterns, and odd things happening around me. My town is weird as shit, and I am like semi-conscious at this point that there is something bigger going on- I am also a little bit stir crazy being at home on my only day off for the next two weeks, ya girls got some grinding to do- literally I’ll be grinding coffee for the next 2 weeks haha.
Back to it Ash- Some would say that learning is a relatively permanent change in behavior, I disagree I think if you don't contradict yourself are you 1: real? And 2: are you really learning if you aren’t constantly changing your view on something due to what you just read. I value peoples in-site, and yes I get caught up in the comment section, I think people are both endearing, and severely misguided. I love that. But seriously the way I choose to educate myself post Malone college has very little to do with my IQ. Not sure what it is up to now, but if it is anything like my credit score we may be in business! I do like the fact I have broken a DISC test 3 times running, that made me feel semi special, and also crying into a personal Ben & Jerrys. I can't understand the horror! I was never good at fitting into boxes. I have no time for personal hang ups, and I certainly prioritize myself, my home, and now my cat?
Real quick I am going to throw this out there:
Some quick ways to learn something new as you go about your day are:
See you next Wednesday
I am having trouble recognizing people's faces without a mask.
The whole lower part of their faces remains a mystery,
and then I see the rest of it and I just can't recognize them.
Instant cognitive facial recognition dissonance. It almost sounds like a real thing.
I just want to travel back in time.
Or at least to 2009.
Where in pictures everyone had one eye; intentionally
And had mastered the art of camera angles.
I miss when malls were actually a thing.
When Apple didn’t lock all of my music
Causing me to lose MONTHS of songs.
( That shit was carefully curated dammit)
I miss running in the gym without a mask.
I just want to have a real conversation with someone without yelling at them.
I am becoming so fucking deaf.
Or one of my headphones just cut out.
I don't mind waiting in line at the grocery store.
Because I never really liked it anyway.
But I know it will be worth it because I will walk out with a cute plant.
I love my new tree. I named him Benji.
If you feel like you’re craving normalcy.
You’re really just craving something that you know.
Something that is comfortable
Like that whole I've been here before I know what to expect.
It's not so scary, but I need you to know that “THIS"
I am pretty sure this episode of Twin Peaks, just turned into The Twilight Zone, and is about to pull a Black Mirror.
Whatever happened to that show: Am I going to be searching for "Freaks and Geeks" for free for the rest of my life.
I should have bought the dvd when I had the chance.
I NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
I can't recognise anyone when I go outside.
I don't recognise anyone inside either.
Wow this warm weather huh?! I feel both amazing because of the increased levels of vitamin D and Serotonin, and yet I am still terrified of global warming, and you should be too. That being said, it's back to shorts, skirts, and dresses at least for this week. I get a-lot of unwanted questions about my legs, specifically my leg tattoos. I would like to once again focus on my shin tattoos, The Cape May LightHouse, and a scene depicting the dessert of Joshua Tree State Park in California. ( Where I fully intend to die) Both these tattoos, while they do represent huge monumental travel opportunities in my life, have a whole other meaning. We have the East and West coast represented, but what does a Lighthouse and a tree have in common? They both anchor you to the ground. Where they are both things that are rooted into the earth, I can always look down if I feel myself start to float up into my head too much. Call it what you want, it's one hell of a reminder to sit down. Shut up, be grateful, and get grounded.
Clearly I wasn’t so grounded the other day, when I am in my head too much I get mad and clumsy.
What does grounding mean to me? Grounding is just a way that I redirect my focus on to something else if my mind starts to trail off into a place I don't want to go. I literally have all the control in the world. That being said here are 10 ways I get grounded, when I start to go too into myself:
Written by Ash Catcher.
Not quite pastry, not that flaky.
What exactly are you?
Just sitting there unassuming, planning the next brunch coup.
You are weird, and not the good kind.
Guess I am going into your holes blind.
Not a pancake, or a crepe, yet you’re shoved in my face.
When late to work, I guess you fit into a briefcase.
Jams, Syrups, and Ice Creams, doesn’t matter how you jazz it up you’re nothing underneath.
And I'll be damned if you keep getting stuck in my teeth.
Oddly undercooked doughs of checkerboard.
And yet when it comes to breakfast you’re so idolized and adored.
A waffle station, you boujee little shit.
If you're in a cone form and fall, kids pitch a fit.
When it comes to you waffles, I think you have lost me.
More expensive than pancakes, all batter should be free.
When it comes to waffles, I guess we could write a novel.
But then I would be waddling to work or school.
Definitely a some time treat.
I guess if you really wanted to I could eat you with meat.
But that would be gross, and I am a fucking vegetarian.
Waffles they’re alright I guess, but they cannot spell antidisestablishmentarian.