​Sun Room 
Written by Ash Wednesday

​Lately this lack of sleep has still manage to make me feel wide a WAKE. 
Feeling like I have been barely present
But I am busy exploring new TERRAIN
You would like this place I think
The BACKYARD itself is most impressive
I am just really ironically allergic to grass. 

​The sun always hits my bedroom at 5:30 am 
I can come by tomorrow night
Banking its way around the house
I don't think I have ever been tanner

Thats the other thing too, 
I think you both would love to meet Banner
I miss falling asleep in the summertime
In your side sun room. 
Getting obliterated numbing out into oblivion awfully. 

​And I wanted to thank you personally
For all the depression you have deposited
On to me
My body needed the rest 
Because if i stop ans relax 
I turn into a travisty.

I needed to take your constant criticism and jadedness. 
To be molded and formed into what I am about to be.
You may think I am fine nothing bothering me
But I'll never open up again to you like I did again 
No more vulnerability and nakedness. 

Let me know if you ever want to take a nap 
In your sunroom
Let the light play actoss our skin 
As our coffees get cold together
Ignoring any signs of the world

Just wanted to fall asleep next to you. 

- Ash Wednesday 

I cut all of my plastic six-pack rings at work and home, because I believe in consensual choking. 
It takes me everything and anything not to grab their neck when our lips are touching.
They are not you. 
They won't play with me like you do. 
The conversations are a bit stale and sometimes boring. 
I am checking in and out more and more of reality. 
You're like a cavity I just can't stop tounging. 
Too much and rich for me 
But you are a broken shell of a human being. 

​I wish you spoiled me with loyalty
Instead of whatever the fuck game you were attempting at playing.
I just want someone to play chess with. 
I think you would have been the perfect opponent. 
But then again I am the queen of playing myself.

​ Trapped in a room with you was like being alone with a shattered mirror. Just look at yourself. 
We are both Fragile dealing with the repercussions of your 7 years of bad luck. We are both afraid. We are both scared. We are both broken. And abused. And absolutely now I am 100% sure you and I have the same mentality. Baby we are boarding on the lines of reality- so I'll ask you one last time fuckin stop spying on me from the comforts of your castle and fucking play with me one more time. 

I should strip you of me- but we're both masochistic.
Not of your dignity you have done that long ago 
But of the scales  that you had to weigh decisions and yourself. 

​I should strip you like I have for the past few life times
We just meet in different skin suits 
But you seem so familiar because I've known you thought the centuries even if it was just in passing or a few hours. 

I believe in consensual choking
And I think I carry some weight more than you would like to admit.
I am an awful person apparently the absolute worst 
Yet I am your go to drug of course. 

You started drinking enough for the both of us I didn't even have to bring a bottle to my lips. 
You told me you would never allow that of me. It least I think that's what you said to me it was hard to make out with that lisp. 

I could use a little consensual choking

A.W. 

Short Circuit
Written by Ash Wednesday 

​Zapping electronics since the 90s
Tapping into wires and always trying to find "ME" 
Forever shortening the electoral circuitry
Corrupting electronic effortlessly

I am an electromagnetic anomaly 
But I am really just a bunch of 
Bagged up water and guts 
Squished together
morphed under a little bit of pressure
When my body fucking flakeys and gives out 
All i can think of "The Audacity!" 

​Nothing different about you or me
Not sure what is what is what 
But i find a lot of comfort 
Of being surrounded by other people's stuff. 

Becuae I am not used to the stillness 
The blaring mediocrity. 
But when my body goes into full chaos mode 
I can finally actually relax and thive. Its called PTSD tenacity. 

Sometimes I short circuit, my body goes limp
And it starts to unravel
"Just sit back relax"
I really don't know the meaning of that word. 

​If I look ut up in a dictionary
The last time I actually sat still 
I was living in a condo off Byberry. 
And if my body starts to separate we know the drill. 

Just grab the nearest electric thing near 
Hold it in your left hand, kick it into first gear. 
Work yourself until your fucking exhausted
Get those dopamine receptors defrosted. 

Electric impulses 
Conducive through earth, dirt, worms, and sand. 
I am so tired of feeling everyone's hurt.
And trauma, and electrical technical difficulties. 

I am not a condusive conductor
I am not a medical professional, 
I am not a psychologist or a doctor 
I am not equipped to short circuit your trauma and pain.

Yall need professional help 
I am already overly employed
And have nothing to gain. 
Fuck my caring nature it was a learned behavior
For coping ingrained in my left brian. 

Live 
Laughing at nothing in particular
Toaster (oven) 
And Bath.

These are some of my go to dope anime hacks. 


- Ash Wednesday 

​Flame 
Written by: Ash Wednesday

I feel you 
Every time I light a candle. 
You stopped asking me to go hiking 
So now I always wear sandals

But that's okay it's probably too hot for you to be inside anyway
You like to hibernate, the only outside time is between you and your Ash tray. 

But like I said I am fine with this little flame 
Flicking in the breeze. 
I've gotten used to the ins and outs 
The I do what ever I pleases. 

The on's and when it's on oh wouldn't you like to fuck around and figure it out. 
But when it's Off season I know it's because you're just chasing someone else for clout. 

​But if you could stand there on your own 
If you could light your own match 
Well wouldn't that be something 
Can you even imagine that? 

You, yes you just standing there for all to see 
Not a parasitic morsal sucking up all your screen
Nothing disturbing or distracting
No more self preservation and acting 

You should be able to do this by now 
Instead of coping sticking more metal in your brows 
To stand there willing and face the flames 
Of all the times you have been wrong and made mistakes

​Fire Walk with me 
I have been watching too much Twin Peaks 
A show I am not sure you would have seen 
But I think you would enjoy it because we both like the same things 

Few have walked around
Few have stayed 
Where are we in this timeline journey
Each lifetime are we gonna be telling the same old story

Would've reached instant FLAME
If I had a soul to sell 
But it's been needing some resurrection lately
My heart is but a necromancy.

​- Ash Wednesday