Written By: Ash Catcher
Happy Actually Ash Wednesday! The freaking unthinkable happened this past weekend, I actually had a day off to myself. I love these rare days, and just like snow days this rarity must be treasured and treated with the utmost planning and respect. So the night before I hopped on google maps and It's kinda funny I have this weird knack for cartography ( the study of drawing maps) who knew I am not the straightest thing in the world, but boy can I draw a straight line to your allotted destination. I usually will keep it under an hour for a morning excretion. I like to be home in the afternoon to catch the sun and cuddle my cat. We have some solid naps, now that I finally found the right pillows for my couch. Achievement unlocked. So what I like to do is come up with a list of places, usually it centers around coffee or food base to get me going, and then I like to find a secondary activity usually something physical like hiking this past weekend I had some other plans:
I first started out my morning at The Blossom Cafe in Skippack PA, I have never been here in my life, I literally thought there wasn’t a place I haven’t stepped foot in in a 60 mi radius. I guess I was wrong lol, this place was very cute with some of the most impressive pottery and mugs I have ever seen- for background I spent 5 summer teaching kids art and mostly ceramics. This place also offered classes :) I’ll definitely be back for that. The upstairs of the cafe offered a cosy feel. I poked my head up there cause it was super crowded while I was waiting for my cortado, and toast. Very cute, and they had a succulent bar, where you can make your own succulent- I thought that was such a cute idea! I have been wanting a new plant lately but after parting with 2 I think it's best to hold off and enjoy the plant babies I have already. It was warm enough that I got to eat outside and under the heat lamp sunning myself in the midmorning sun, and artificial heat my lizard ass enjoyed the heck out of my breakfast. I also watched a couple meet up for the first time on tinder. He should have paid for her drink, just my opinion. Overall, The Blossom Cafe was so cute and I really want to go back and check out the ceramics classes, as well as the actual town.
My second stop, also coffee related idk I guess that was this Saturday's theme I found myself at Speakeasy Coffee Company, Pennsburg PA. I almost drove past this place because it is allllllll theeeeeee wayyyyyy in the back of an industrial park. But I found it with plenty of parking. Looking like a relatively new outpost, Speakeasy Coffee Company had a great selection of drinks, and my cortado was like double the size of the first one I had, and the same price, a win in my book. I got another mug because eh fuck it- and proceeded to a room where I could see the roasting process. If you also don't know a fun Ash fact is I have about a little under 5 years working with coffee, and spirits, distilling grain, and roasting beans aint all that different as I found out. There was a cool map that I saw where their coffee beans grow, and I got to choose a few sample flavors because I answered the owners trivia questions all correctly. I am a slut for trivia- and yes I am super competitive. There is only 1st, everyone else is a dumb dumb. Bonus: Spice and Such room I bought 1lb of Catnip for my floofy son because he was crying when I left that morning and he was home all alone. He loved it, he was so cute. The dried forest mushrooms seemed really interesting - I love weird food ingredients.
Final fatality: I took a really long walk up the Schuylkill Towpath. I saw some nature, some cool ducks that knew what was going on, and lots of water. I grounded and recentered myself. BOOM!I am ready for the week! I also saw the coolest little library, it was anything but it was huge three shelves high! I was super impressed. I always like to fill my free time reading or walking, drinking coffee, driving- cause I treat that as a sport / therapy / stress reducer. All in all, if i can do anything on my days off it would be to find a cool cafe, go on a walk, read a good book, and maybe I don’t know about fussing over my cat and plants, I have to keep all my things alive lol. Including myself.
Happy Ash Wed
The “Window” RANT
Written By: Ash Catcher
What is everyone's hurry to run off and get married, pop out some kids, and buy property in the suburbs. Did I miss something? Did I miss this “window” in my 20’s where I needed to rush back to the very place I was trying to escape? This past decade of my life was nothing close to a fucking cluster fuck, I tried making a turn around when I turned 27 and chose to singlehandedly focus on self growth, my personal wealth, an naturally financial investmentments. I have a huge collection of artwork, my own and others that I can't even begin to price point. I am not bragging, I just have other priorities, and thought about what is the harm in collecting something with enormous potential for financial gain. I hate to admit that but that is all my Father right there. I would rather be surrounded with equity than shacking up and popping out 2.5 kids. I got a cat now I am good in the spawn department, Banner is the spitting image of me. I both love him, and hate him for it. He is needy, and meows a lot, andI couldn’t give two fucks about what happened the other week. Plus I wake up every morning at 1am and again at 4:30am… how is that like not having a baby?
So my goals may be a little skewed, maybe I am too far up my own ass on this but hey someone has to be there right. What is wrong with prioritizing yourself? To me personally it is all about self preservation I see next to little wrong with this. But please for the love of god why are people my age getting married. What a stupid thing to do, I went to at least 10 weddings in the past 2- 3 years, guess what I am also attending their respective divorce parties or second weddings as well. Sure some couples can make it work but it requires an ungodly amount of patience, and prioritizing someone else over yourself. I am not there nor will I ever be. I think people my age, let alone my generation, can seriously commit to someone else other than themselves. . I look out for myself. I am always there for me, because I know at the end of the day nobody else matters. Again call it what you want. It is self preservation, and I will not share my hard work with anyone else. No-one benefits from me anymore.
I think it's beautiful when two people can truly work together and prioritize not just one another, but themselves as a whole. There is no I in TEAM, but there is AT ME, don’t come at me because I refuse to be put into a box, or a preconceived notion embedded in society to only benefit mostly men. What do I get out of all this???!!! How can someone possibly work 40+ hours, weekly average? I am pushing close to 55- 60 hrs and maintaining a household- it doesn’t seem possible, these milestone moments seem next to impossible sometimes, and require way too much money that I could ever justify spending. Why am I always tired, haha.
and is there a door that has some sort of insite going to present itself my way to. change my mind?
Go, Go, Green Flag!
Written By: Ash Catcher
I think when it comes to relationships, and friendships… uh I guess even family too we always seem to hyper focus on the negative. It's always well what are the red flags? Why so negative? Here is what I wanted to do this week, I wanted to keep it high vibe and give you my personal top 5 green flags in a relationship!
I would love to do part 2! Maybe next time.
See ya next week!
Reddit And Weep
Written By: Ash Catcher
I wanted to take some time to address this via a thread.
The things that most people post anon would never admit on their deathbed.
But will blast it out on the internet for all to see, permanently etched in Java Script or HTM- HELL.
Broken down over time, kept perfectly intact, each chronological lie, all lacking moral.
Never understood why people poured out their heart and soul.
When in real life you could never keep it together, or take control.
Suddenly I came across this handle that seemed a bit all too familiar.
After a little bit of reading, I can sort of make out your words, through the societal filters.
The freedom to be this other person, who is kind and encouraging to strangers.
I guess it's true what they say about all entertainers.
You’re always ON, and you are all a bit OFF, using people as props and stuff.
But your profile, sheesh that is where I guess you are really you, reality doesn’t seem enough.
At times I’ll stumble upon a thread and there you will have commented on something again.
You are positive and encouraging, your words sound quite reserved and zen.
But then I remember the version of you I got.
I laugh and smile about how I am better off.
How words are nice and neat and all.
Hidden behind all those lies, and firewalls.
Duck down, and hide behind your computer or phone.
I guess it would be unorthodox to have your cover blown.
But reddit, and weep this shit is entertainment to me.
I Love it when people who hurt me try to act like they have a kindness to strangers degree.
I love seeing the real versions of people, unedited, and filled with bugs.
The broken, unhinged prototypes ruled by vices like alcohol, and drugs.
Sometimes we are authentically and unapologetically us in real life and the digital world.
IRL people are just dicks, nothing can change, there is no amount of time, it's just what I observed.
On most nights when I can't sleep, there is a place I can go to talk anon about anything.
I think I prepared myself for this my whole childhood, way too much time playing SIMS.
Toxic Manic Dream Girl: A Look At HBO’s Euphoria.
Written By: Ash Catcher
Like most trending, and popular things I am once again late to this party. Not going to lie like 2 weeks ago maybe 3 cause timelines have been sticking together lately. I have never even heard of this show Euphoria. Apparently season 1 came out around 2019, I am all about a predominantly female cast, however I can't help but notice a few things about this show that raises a glittery eyebrow, or two. Case in point I thought this trope was beaten to absolute shit in the late 2000’s but I guess not the whole idea of The Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It seems like each of these female characters in the show try to pay a certain homage to this over excavated topic. But people are here for it. I had a lot more important things back in 2019, I had no time to dedicate to a show, especially a new one. However, after a few years life is getting progressively bleaker, and I have spent my lunch break researching eye creams and face serums because I’ll be approaching my 30’s in less than 6 months….. eh yeah sure I have some time to dedicate to this.
This show is without a doubt excellently casted, it's beautifully written, everyone's outfits, hair, and makeup are impeccable, a bit too much glitter for my taste kinda sounds like a crafting nightmare gone a rye, but to each their own. I noticed that the director, Sam Levinson is exceptionally well at casting younger actors that look exactly like their older counterparts, or Euphoria has a team of photoshop wizards, and witches. Yet with such technological advances, and creatives that HBO has access to, we are still hyper focused on sexualizing women, predominantly minors, because apparently all 24 year olds really look 15 to Hollywood. This is a good show do not get me wrong I liked it, I did binge watch it I just can’t ignore the perverseness that seems to at times outshine, how most of these female characters seem to always become “unhinged” at the sight of any man, and/or addictive substance. As much as unlikeable as one of the main characters is, I actually really feel bad for them.
I like the way this show plays with narrative. Our narrator, Rue, has substance abuse problems to put it nicely she is an addict, it doesn’t matter to what she will do it, and it Season 2 she does some pretty stupid shit that I am predicting she will 99.9% either overdose again for the 2nd time that we know about, or she is getting her ass human trafficked and Whelp this was a nice little show that ends after two seasons thank you, and goodnight. It is because of the way the director portrays addiction that intrigues me. Rue hides her drug use from her I guess Jules as her partner. But they're open. I am still trying to figure that out, I guess it's a complicated situation. Her Gf has no idea, I cannot tell you how many times I have actually found myself in that situation. I have had friends, family, partners, and I guess shesh at times sure I’ve been guilty of this once or twice. Unfortunately most of the time it is too late and one of two things can be found true: "This" their drug habit that they have squirreled away, has been going on way before you have even been in the picture and its not that they can't get better it is that they do not want to get better. That's the downward spiral talking. I find this to be another interesting thing about drug use especially in T.V. drugs are artfully glamorized. I don't know really why that is unless maybe Pharma has a hand or two in the media, oh wait never mind. This show is riddled with some really cringe moments, and at most times ends up contradicting itself entirely- but I kinda do that too.
Euphoria’s undeniable crutch on the "Unreliable Narrator” is something that we really do see a lot in television, and media outlets especially when portions of the story centers on opiates, and narcotics. This is all from Rue’s POV and if she is an addict, like I can probably count on one hand how many times she has been sober. While I like her as a character, I think it is ironic that she is chosen to break the 4th wall and become our narrator. She is simply unreliable and I just question everything she says and does. I have been doing that alot lately. This show, while visually appealing, is not suitable for someone who over-thinks as much as I do.
Some examples of The Unreliable Narrator in literature and Movies: Shutter Island, Gone Girl, American Psycho, Fight Club, YOU, The Bell Jar, Lolita, Naked Lunch, Joker, Memento, Mr. Robot, Hell even High Fidelity can be considered "Unreliable” we rarely get the other version of the story, or god forbid the actual truth. This is a very common theme, so is MPDG.
Let's circle back a bit, to that whole 500 Day of Summer, Blue Haired, quirky character trope. There is an underlying homage to mania presented in this show. When someone has a manic moment, a lapse in character, or judgement- who all of a sudden there is either complete and utter clarity, or a touch of sobriety seems to grace us, and the character. It's a quick little moment that is shared between the actors and the viewer. With this show there seems to be some pissing contest who can be crazier than the next character. It makes for a great story but also the reality of manic episodes are anything but fun. I hope that they choose to explore that route bit more, and how even minor characters seem to be able to stand alone and could have a whole show about them, I really liked a Spanish drama that ended up doing that, Elite’ and from the looks of my HBO Queue, Euphoria is following suite with stand alone one shots! Solid show I will continue to watch.
I guess the only thing everyone is collectively on is each other, and glitter.
See ya next week!