Wear Does It Go?
By: Ash Catcher
I have too much to wear, but they all are not originally mine.
Different people’s shirts on my spine.
All styles are nothing really concrete.
A variety of shoes on my feet.
Nothing like the fastest of fashion.
Cheap, black crop tops, worn and ashen.
An abundance of cloth.
Not sure what my closet says about me, some say it’s goth.
Like I said it is just fast fashioned, 250 dollar jeans for 10.99 plus glasses
I glance up and down the isles, scouring through the piles like molasses.
Since I lived on my own (17) off to the thrift store I go.
Prices are good, and pretty great for the borough.
Can’t keep my composure in the jacket aisle.
And it is always a great place to see what is in style.
Never thought I would always want other rejects.
Don’t look for clothes with holes or smell like cigarettes.
Yes! Another fuckin black tank top!
And my umpteenth book, cheaper than the bookshop
Score and save, for those under paid.
Some say its useless and a downgrade.
I think those people are silly.
Nobody wants to look like everyone else, at least involuntary.
Lavender Coconut Coffee: "Three Very Ash Things”
Written By: Ash Catcher
Bar soap, cucumbers, and Iced Americanos
In my spare time I watch documentaries about Parmigiano-Reggiano.
Squirrels seem to be my staple animal.
Mostly moving, using cash, so it is not traceable and taxable.
Yes, that smell you smell is me.
At this point I could get a lavender degree.
Bar soap I am obsessed with I have way too much
Hide them in shoes, my walk-in- closet, just another way to smudge.
My skin now is just about half way inked.
No longer judged, just eyed up, and down I guess it's some peoples kink.
What is that in your mouth? "A Lemon.” I responded with the rind over my teeth.
"But isn’t that like…uh really sour?” To which I just say: “Achievement complete.”
Plants Ash you have too many!
Fuck you dude, I only have just about under 60.
Your cat has overtaken your instagram, and maybe your life.
BRB going out to get freeze dried chicken- ethical moral strifes.
Decked out in black, but you’re still blonde and ditzy.
Adidas sporting, speed walker, gothic gypsy.
I am sure you mean well but you keep staring.
If I come off essentric I assure you I am not I just cannot fucking stand ordinary, and boring.
Lavender Coconut Coffee: Three Very Ash Things
I own more than an average amount of spoon rings.
Too many boots, about 1,000 black crop tops.
All of a sudden rocking a pair of rainbow flip flops.
I guess you could know me, or you think you did.
Narrow it down like that game with the squid.
Tick off the boxes, I cannot fit into a human concepted shape.
It has been fun, and all but I will be at the grape.
Ash Wednesday: Stop In Motion Sickness
Written By: Ash Catcher
Apparently, and I shit you not I only get really car sick when I leave Pennsylvania. What the fuck Ash, this past weekend I was supposed to go to Delaware which technically I did- I just got one of the most worst waves of car sickness I have ever had. I had only experienced this a few times as a kid, usually when my dad was driving. That stop, go that puts your little developing child tummy in the most cohesive of knots. Like that but add those mysterious side stitch things that make you just want to say “ OK, I am done with this simulation- respond damnit!” I used to get those when I used to teach, but it turned out they were kidney infections. Who knew, only took a few emergency trips for them to fill me up with a 200 dollar bag of saline. Bless you American Health System Bless you. Apparently car sickness is equated to hearing issues which I believe everyone has developed over the past 2 years.
Why oh why do I get car sick when I leave the state? I start to get the craziest anxiety attacks to follow, and for some reason break out into a cold sweat, but I am hot as hell. So what is the deal? Am I secretly not allowed to leave PA? Because looking back- Covid aside I have kept my adventures pretty close to home. I work a lot, and have recently started dog sitting again with everyone else starting to go on vacation. Life has been pretty packed and lucrative, but for the life of me when I do get a day off and find myself wandering- I just feel sick- like guilty. I don't drive that much anymore, not that I don't want to, I just am kinda sick of it. I finally have a driveway in my house and after 4 years of scrounging for parking and parallel parking- I freaking hate that I am kinda for the time being trying not to drive so much. My wallet, and stomach thank me, gas is way too expensive just for me to get sick and want to go home an hour into a car ride.
I did try tho, but unfortunately yet again I went to Delaware only to not leave the car again, oh well 5th time's the charm. I still need some cool places to visit when i have a free weekend or two in December, hit me up with any ideas and ill be sure to take some ginger tea with me and not stare at my phone so much in the car.
\ I am blaming this one on those planets in retro /
My partner writes quite a bit, but in the past fifteen years we've known each other, he hasn't allowed me to read much of his work outside of a few poem fragments. He doesn't keep notebooks or lists of ideas. Most of his writing is for DnD, as he DM's from time to time. He'll create characters, magic items, and settings just for fun. He chooses to keep most of is work to himself, which kills me, because he has one of the most incredible creative minds I've ever seen.
Working at LSB I'm surrounded by folks who say, “Buy my book!”, “Follow me on Insta!”, “Check out my blog! I post every day!” I'll admit it's hard not to feel an immense pressure to create and release to the public.
In On Becoming Creative, Adrian Patenaude writes, “Somewhere along the way, creativity becomes a means to an end. It's not a hobby anymore; it's a career. It's not an activity; it's activism. It's not playtime; it's productivity. It's not for leisure; it's our legacy."
Unfortunately, I think this is a very capitalist way of thinking—the constant need to somehow profit or gain from our passions. Got a knack for music? Put that on YouTube. Like to write? Start a blog. Can you draw? Sign up for Instagram. Are you a singer? Get thee to Patreon!
I had a friend recently tell me that if he goes a day or two without posting his art, he loses followers on social media. I can't tell you how many times some very well-meaning people have told me I should be selling my art.
I'm not saying selling your work or posting pics on social media is a bad thing. I like a good Redbubble haul and filling up a Pinterest board with artwork as much as the next person. I'm saying that just because other people do it and it brings them fulfillment (and good for them!), doesn't mean you need to follow the same path if that's not what you want. Your work and identity as an artist isn't illegitimate; this doesn't make you unsuccessful. We all have our own benchmarks for success. Your work is significant—because it matters to you. Showing up is a victory in itself. If creating for the heck of it is your standard for success, then congrats, you're doing it right.
Photo Credit: Pexcels.com
Written By: Ash Catcher
Cute, and Artsy, vegan coffee, heavily tattooed people who make me feel like I am not worthy- sounds like a magical land, while that may sound true that is just Asbury Park New Jersey. I have been here more times than I can count, each time I think the same things: 1) this is a great place for a photoshoot and 2) I end up freaking out over how stinking cute the ungodly pricey beach houses are in the town one over: Ocean Grove. Everything looks like it is off the set of Shrek, which still follows me way too much for my liking still. I swear I am going to have a vacation property there one day, even if it is a little beach bungalow.
Asbury Park reminded me a lot about that one show Boardwalk Empire it's not the best movie but the area has mad Gatsby vibes mixed with that just right amount of artsy alternative vibe: in other words It is what I envision a scene from Flapjack, just more sunny and bright! Known also as one of the most Unofficial Gay Towns in New Jersey, Asbury PK- it is not just all about Bruce Springsteen or Brian Fallon, although I have seen both these guys here, which was pretty dope.
Founded in 1871, Asbury Park quickly became a hot spot for people to vacation too- and still is I guess, although I am always here for a day, but each time I try to do something new. This time it was my mission to acquire postcards, and at least two magnets for my ugly ass fridge. Mission was a success! The town layout which bleeds into the next town essentially: Ocean Grove is inspired by European Cities, which is coincidentally like the town I have been living in for the past few years. Okay Ash focus….
In more recent years Asbury has gotten a huge face lift. It is pretty genderfied now. But why gentrify the shore? It literally seems like almost the edge of humanity, the last stop- something about the ocean and the end of the world. Idk why my head always goes there but it does. But now there is no reason to fear coffee roasters, vegan hot dog venders, crystal shops, and the always closed fortune tellers kiosk. Yet the record store was nowhere to be found WTF.
Traces of subtle Victorian architecture, sandwiched around colorful works of art on the wall, honestly there is just something e3rie about this place- that I always find myself saying “I cannot wait to go back.”
- Ash Catcher