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Ash Wednesday! No Cap.

1/17/2023

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No Cap. 
Written by: Ash Catcher 
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​Please stop drinking my coffee 
I am a whiny Cappy baby 
Please stop drinking my coffee 
Allow me to gaslight you daily. 

I am a pissy moody mother fucker 
I'll passively aggressivly move around all your stuff. 
And call you out on your weight. 
And follow you around town when you go on dates. 

I am spineless, because I never grew up. 
I can use your things, but fuck you and die if you touch my stuff. 
I am fully aware that I have used your coffee maker for the past 3 years. 
But I intentionally filled up our fridge with beers. 
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​I know you're having a tough go of things this holiday season. 
But stop comparing my height, for the last time I am not Indonesian. 
I am fucking always irratable because I don't have a sense of who I am. 
Oh you're gone for the night let me hit you up on your phone with spam.

The cat is sick
He is dying 
You're such an awful person 
( But don't you know I am lying) 

I'll just say things to say things 
And not back up anything when you retort back. 
I don't give a shit about your feelings I'll stick to you like plaque. 

And plague you like a disease. 
And cause you phantom pain. 
And talk shit behind your back and to your face. 
I am just a whiny baby Cap. 
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Hook; 

No Cap 
No peace
I won't leave you alone 
Even watch you when you sleep
" I literally do everything in this house." 
Bro I fucking insist please shut your mouth. 
You don't take out the trash because " gender is a construct." 
You speak in fluent gaslighting
( I really shouldn't have given you that book) 
My personality is compared to egg whites.

No Cap
No peace 
No rest 
Worst then the police. 

Fuck you your trash. 
I am the best, and your just Ash.
Our parents love me I can do no wrong. 
But in reality I am wormy and squirming forever your tag along. 

Super needy and kinda co-dependant. 
I try to put on a front. 
But your the actor in this family. 
That's why you're always gone. 

Let's keep you exhausted you're easier to manipulate. 
Wait you got 7 hrs of sleep? Uh fuck... Stop trying to immaculate (me).
I talk shit, but can't stomach it when you serve it back. 
I am just a weak ass stupid Cap. 

- Ash
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Ash Wednesday! Bad Habit

1/11/2023

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​Bad Habit 
Written By: Ash Catcher 
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I am pretty superstitious.
But I base all my moves on borderline intuition. 
Had enough of this hypocrisy. 
Is this place we live in still a nation, or just a mockery.


Fuck it all, it's all over the walls. 
Chewing at my nail beds, avoiding the withdrawals. 
Vibrating at a cool constant mediocrity. 
My thoughts lack clarity, barley a whisper, fractal and inaudibly. 

I feel like I am completely replaceable
It's been proved time and time again 
But if you spoil me with loyalty.
I hope that you speak in riddles and ambiguity. 

My habits have teeth.
And sometimes it's hard to breathe.
But a little dose does the trick.
Of Methamphetamines. 

Humanity seems so oversaturated.
But I am miraculously still engaged most days and infatuated.
What is deemed redeemable and satisfying.
What is worth these days fixating? 

Dissolved all boarders, fuck your latitude lines. 
I would throw it all away for you, give it 1000 tires. 
Planted firmly in the grown, your airness lifts me up 
Hoping I don't fall over myself, empty out all my cups. 

Fuck it all, it's all over the walls. 
Chewing at my nail beds, avoiding the withdrawals. 
Vibrating at a cool constant mediocrity. 
My thoughts lack clarity, barley a whisper, fractal and inaudibly. 

Bad habit
Bad rabbit
Dark holes 
Wayward souls. 
Disgruntled humanity.
Redefining sanity. 

Hello, I would like to please plead insanity. 
Hello?! I would like to order a new mentality. 
Psychopathic heterosexual multiple personality. 
All often taken out of context and without formality.



- ash ​
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Ash Wednesday! Ash & Lenz

1/3/2023

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​Ash & Lenz 
Written By: Ash Catcher 
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​ASH: 
Hi there, Lenz, it's been a little while.
How are you these days? The Seasonal Depression, manageable still? 
How is the art going, you still doing the whole photography and poetry thing? 
No, it's great that you can stick with something like that. It's cool. Admirable even. 

It's just been a little while since we both reconnected, you know with us being practically neighbors and all. 

LENZ: 

….. oh it’s you. Yes I am fine, art is going okay- there is very often no reason to rhyme. 
It all seems so useless like you’re having a one sided conversation into the void. 
You sound different, have you “grown” since the last time we have to unfortunately had the pleasure to speak. Are you still  B&E into people’s homes to play with their pets for profit- how cute. How very you. 
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​ASH: 
 Hey! I take pictures too, just not like the vast landscapes and the other things that you do. And sometimes if my schedule allows it I hit up an open mic and spit a few bars if the mood sets me just right. I am softening up to the idea of being fragile again- Lenz don’t you remember when you could still be that? 

LENZ: 
  Nope. I am the reason why you are so vulnerable, I am the reason why you forget things. I am the reason why you (we) have forgotten all about John. I fronted that day and represented us that day in court. We are still together now, still because of me. No more Schizo Scorpio Circus. No more harmful people or things to begin with.  I will have no more part in orbiting social constructed satellites. Ash face it you will forever be someone else's substitute. Split sides to me it's hard to see to differentiate between the two 
Malicious compliance, We have been both way better off without the other one- and I am very thankful for the cat. He is a huge help. 

But Ash I think you need to humble yourself- a little taste of a reality check: 


All your ex boyfriends and that one girl you dated are married- moved on right after they left you 
And one now has a baby 
With your name embedded in his daughters name.
Guess it's hard to handle a triple water sign. 

ASH: 
Fuck you- I am the epidomy of water. 
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​LENZ:

 I haven’t finished yet… 

And these losers, the ones that stayed at home for far too long
While you were out there struggling. 
You have lived lifelongs. 
While they sit in their "castle" in the middle of nowhere. Rotting and snorting up decaying supply. 
You narcissistic sad excuse for a man. Please kindly die. 
While you're sighing in relief, you can breathe freely the air.

Digging and dishing out  love bombs left and right 
"Ash I have always kept you in my sights'
You have always been special you have always been unique
I don't know if I can quit you that's why I had to go away for a week 

ASH: 
Nah LENZ man, fuck that and give me some distance. 
You fucking just sound insane and a tad narcissistic. 
You disappeared and dropped me, quit me like I wasn’t even a daily habit. 
Placed  high on the shelf of your room- or in the closet that you told me not to go into.
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LENZ: Ash you’re projecting I am a part of you sounds like you’re talking about some other guy… 

ASH: 
But here open the box and you can see;
Like holy fucking shit I can't believe all of that fit into these.
All the secrets packed nearly into boxes one girl at a time. 
If I told you I snagged my box with all the existing evidence it wouldn't be a lie. 
And all the DNA in there from half a whole High School grade of girls. 

Internal Thought/ Manipulative Screenplay/ Day Old Stale DM,  
Hi Ash, I know it's been awhile 
But I've changed now
And I've had time to think
About all the lessons I've learned from you while we were apart and I and here is what I think: 

{Translation}
You seem like I could easily manipulate you.
To saddle right back into your life 
And pick back up where we started 
But wait, something is different from before and it's hard to place. 

ASH: 
Let me help you with that. You are a fucking disgrace. 
It's not just the backbone inside me that is taller than you. It's the bullshit you spit has fallen on deaf ears, all the lies that you believe are true. 
I am blocking out your low vibrations- you're not even worth my words. 
But for old time sakes I'll pop off. 
Handing the mic over to Lenz one final time before this all ends. 

LENZ: 
Best of luck in coming back from the holes that you have dug for yourselves, and the choices you have made. I am fucking irreplaceable. And the damage that has been done is irreparable. 
I know because this killed me for years but the truth is hard to embrace. 
Just know when I talk about you in the past tense your name always follows …”What a waste of time and a mistake.” ​
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