​I Want To Eat Lunch On Her Shattered Ego
Written by Ash Catcher 

Eyes contacted, something forever pending. 
Unanswered invites, anxiety shaking and sweating. 
Bolting up in the middle of the night. 
Nausea settling in- would be cool if I stopped over sharing and overwrite. 

The on going sentences sputtering from my face. 
That messy process it takes to constantly come up and create. 
From fucking thin air, how can I keep breathing life into this "brand" 
Is something fucking normal boring people will never understand. 

I want to eat lunch on her shattered ego. 
Addicted to words, popping them like placebos. 
Painted colors across the sky. 
I am just looking for someone to pass the time before I kick it and die. 

Packed up with the same intentions. 
And let's me honest there has been some honorable mentions. 
The only way out is through. 
Internally screeching like a banshee and Sioux. 

​But some days I am more confident and comfortable in myself then others. 
Except when I get excited about something entirely unrealistic and unrelated, and the conversation needs to keep going and recover. 

A stagnate Stargate doesn't seem appealing or possible. 
My favorite part about the two of us is all the things that remain a mystery and inaudible. 
Aches in my head l, but it's not from the cold. 
I was just thinking about you, like it's some sort of secret proposed code. 

I want to eat lunch on her shattered ego. 
Addicted to words, popping them like placebos. 
Painted colors across the sky. 
I am just looking for someone to pass the time before I kick it and die. 

Had to remodel my life a few times since we last spoke. 
You ever have nights alone in bed and you reach over and there is just silence and smoke. 
I've been breaking the 4th wall- or was it dimension.
Hey I found this new thing if you count backwards from 20 and close your eyes the background will start to disappear. You'll become the admin of circumvention. 

My habit has teeth- (Addiction) 

All of Spirits turned to Ash by the end of the night.

Will be pretty cliche, but I think it's clever- try to go into the light. 



-ash ​

Consortium Co- Op Flip Flop. 
Written By: Ash Catcher 

I do not want to get married. 
I have never not once dreamed of my wedding. 
I have been on my own since I was 17 and that doesn't seem very fiscally responsible to me. 
I want to build a fucking empire. 
But my habit has teeth. 
and they are fucking nawing at me raw tonight. 

I hate 2 player videogames because I like to be uncooperative as fuck. 
Think of it as a sort of consortium Co - Op / Flip Flop. 

No thanks, I'll just read a book solo. 
Just trying to tread water, not trying to reach anymore karmic low lows. 

I want to take all the gender norms in my family and toss them in the nearest bin, I want to unearth the shredder- an appliance I am convinced only Gen X owns.
I want to tear everything apart. 
I want to explain to my parents and grandparents that to get ahead in this world you can't just have one avenue of income, you need to adapt.  
I would have made a terrible child bride- way too much chaos- still too much chaos. That poor dude wouldn't know what hit him. If I am on edge grandma I am sorry I just paid rent and my credit card off in one day forgive me for the sullen stares at dinner. I have not eaten meat at this table since I was 11. 

I never dreamed of my wedding- what a costly dream my brain does not have the budget for those kinds of dreams. 
We prefer the cryptic dark cyber shit, not happy to sign your fortune away. 
I want to build something but I am not about to put a price on my freedom and sanity. 
I would have to abduct and chuck some pretty ingrained habits of mine- and you want to talk about sacrifices- well fuck your fantasy grandkids your relationship with your real kids are just that much rooted in pure fantasy. Imagine having to speak to you out of obligations. 

I am not going to sit and pretend to look the other way while you try and ruin another generation of people with your generational curses and trauma. 

- Ash ​

Paper Trails 
Written By: Ash Catcher 

The greatest mistake is giving up. 
I must not fear, fear is the mind killer. 
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration; 
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pace over, and through me. 
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. 
When it is gone, there will be nothing. Only what you allow to remain. 

Your dreams, when you can sleep soundly- hold the keys to tomorrow's history. 
Love is like oxygen, you get too much you get too high; Dope- another hit of dopamine for me please. 
don’t get enough you’re gonna die. But you’ll be tripping either way. 
And masturbation is necrophilia if you’re dead inside. 
Keep that left hand extra numb for something a little spicy on a rainy Monday afternoon.

Never pay a compliment as though you expect a receipt. 
We are not transactions on a piece of paper- I think at one time I wanted to be more.  
Oh and that reminds me, never leave a paper trail of do good- people will just twist it and crumple it- throw you and it away like all the others before you. 
They are just going to focus on your shortcomings anyway. 
The long haulers are too scared to move out of their comfort zones. 
Experiences are one thing that you can’t get for nothing 
Please keep moving, even if most days you want to stay stagnant and just say “Fuck it all.” ​

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. 
It's playful and all at the same time to most people serves them absolutely no purpose whatsoever. 
To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream not only plan but also believe. I believe in things I can't see, because to most people I have been translucent my entire life.  
We ought to treat strangers as if we expect to see them again. 
And we will, we will see them again- it will be a strange occurrence but then look, they are not strangers anymore. 

We are a species with amnesia, it is time to wake up. 
Do you need me to set an alarm for you?


-Ash ​