Yo Romeo! Wrong Juliet.
Written by: Ash Wednesday 

Fuck you and your Gemini ♊ Moon 
I am so over these games and you 
Fuck you and what you made me do
Making permanent marks on my heart like a tattoo

​Blacked out my head and heart
X crossed my eyes 
It would take 1000 takes and tries 
And a few past lifetimes to get things "right"

Bro wrong fucking Juliet
You fucked it up big time, and now you're in your regrets
I am so indebted to my pet 
For comforting me on all those nights where you live rent free in my head 

​Dude wrong fucking Juliet 
I am dying to take you with me 
About to sell my fucking soul and independence
For a working car, but it's a Honda. 

My guy, what is with this sentiment
You lack all subscriptions to loyalty
I think the world of you but you're the reason we're in this distressed mess. 

​It's really lonely when you need to work on yourself
I relationship alone, is what you need 
I don't think you could stand it 
Get tested for your sexual transmissional demons

They're demonstration for the hell of it 
Straight out of the god damn prescription bottle
Aye yo Romeo wrong Juliet
You got to be the weirdest mother fucker I've ever met 

Ash Wednesday 

BLWTF: That One Time I Got Asphyxiated On B.L.T.s 
Written By: Ash Wednesday 

 And then an egg and avocado, which cost extra but I never paid my tab so I was like fuck it load me up I want to fork and knife this sandwich and have it all fall apart. Very messy do not recommend either the egg or avocado both created some structural fopa to this B.L.T and kinda made it a bit of a B.L.W.T.F are you doing Ash??!!!!! This is becoming a kitchen nighttime escapade. Maybe you need to lay off your pen on your smoke break. The chef definitely knew. ​

     I think that the most outlandish and this sandwich had just about every ingredient offered slapped between two pieces of rye they were/ are as follows cause  I kinda wanna recreate this one at home: Pesto Mayo, THE B, THE L, THE T, THE AVOCADO, and THE SALMON! It is a great big clusterfuck, yes I had to unhinge my jaw to eat it, it did require to be forked and knifed to bits, I was late coming back from break, and just like when I was little at the dinner table I chewed so much I forgot how to swallow. Insert a tasteful and tactical joke. Short story: bacon is amazing, I added it to pasta the other night for dinner and maybe half the bacon I cooked ended up in the dish. The other I consumed while cooking and became snacking bacon. I know I am about a decade late on the bacon trend, but I think I have been finally pegged. 

I get it: salty, faty, acid goes on and with anything solid or in a jam, it's great it's gonna kill me but it's great. I am actually gonna probably make it for dinner when I get home tonight. ​

Catch Ya Later! 
Ash Wednesday 

​Warmth
Written by Ash Wednesday 

​"We don't talk anymore..." 
But I drunk texted you two Wednesdays ago 
You'll set yourself on fire 
Just so he can keep warm

The coldness I've read and received
Does nothing to put my mind at ease 
I miss you fuck'in terribly
But you never showed you gave a shit about me

Warmth was never something I've received
Just read about and witnessed in books and movies 
But pass me the matchsticks 
And I'll start something real quick 
And you can have the very last of my nerves 

And let's light this all on fucking fire 
What a destructive force we can be 
For all that quiet energy we carry separately
I hope someone somewhere is enjoying the fire that I have invoked 

I hope you're treating them better than you treat yourself
But I come from a pessimistic and doubtful upbringing such as yourself

Hack me to pieces extract all of my dopamine
Sipping tirelessly at anything containing trace amounts of caffeine
I am tired of mirroring a mirror 

Its weirdly reflective and I am tired of cycling 
Pending processed nothing's happening just left on read and idling. 
I am pretty sure I've done this before but it wasn't like this. 

Would you like to set yourself on fire for a bit 
Just to feel a little bit 
Tried to build up a resistance to you 
But my body is burning the fuck up. 

Why didn't you say all that out loud
You could have just saved myself the trouble and called. 

​Suds City
Written by Ash Wednesday (in a laundry mat between loads)

​I am just a Starseed in a laundry mat.
Ass glued to a plastic chair 
Book in hand, sit and spin cycle 
Inconsistent incognito rat. 
( Baseball Cap rocking sunglass sporting)

The florescents are unforgiving
Its 2 A.M and I know you're still awake
Because we are tethered forever 
Hit up my phone cause I am down for whatever

Deep diving for that dopamine (fix)
Chasing someone or something always made sense to me ( knock it out and off my list) 
Seeking approval from the most "important"

​Bottom of the barrels
Definitely undeveloped and undecided
Flat and flashy- fake salty and pastry
Soapy waters a classic karmic cycle

Forever looping in the florescent hell hole. 
If I keep staring at this machine 
I am gonna lose my mind and lunch
Microcosmic waterboarding full disclosure this is better then a day at Disneyland

Dissatisfied dissociation up the laundry detergent
Trusting my delusions as they spin on high 
Rolling the credits to all my alternative what ifs
In my last life I think I had a better handle on it all. 

​I am just trying to figure it out
This Human Condition
And what's it is all about
Reading up trying to find the answers, like addition.

Waiting for the collective consciousness to kick in 
This retrograde round about kinda way
Spiraling linear I am dizzy just thinking
Shaking and saying "This is just apart of the journey".

Brillo pads scattered the floor, 
People stop and stare
Getting used to the side eyes for sure 
This town is quiaint but kinda odd 

Not quite Twin Peaks aesthetic
But my asthma seems to think different 
The mold soaked clothing 
Laid abandoned and drying

The non playable people smiling
Hi! Welcome! We're happy you're hear
Take a number and  single serving washer 
Soak it up all these unwanted feelings unbothered 

A.W.

​Written By: Ash Wednesday 

​If the world was ending, you would come over right? 
We could keep it casual- 
Order in
maybe a movie or two like we used to 
If that is alright. 

Since the world is ending, how about Thai? 
I am gonna get shrimp, because fuck it. 
Let's go out with a soft bang
Because I have been screaming inside my head my whole life. 

​And dude, I am tired. 
I am tired of masking, 
of withholding my joy 
all those late nights thoughts and feelings 
I just want to go "home" 

Off this planet if only for just a moment 
Then respond and be born again
right back to it. Grind, depression, little lost lambs 
Whatever this it is I am trying to still discover 

​But if the world was suddenly on fire 
would you be down to share one last cigarette 
and a brief chat 
it doesn't have to be anything crazy 

I would settle for a "Hi, how are you- 
Cause nothing these days phases me. 
War seems imminent, It's too expensive to live 
At least when I am dead and gone it costs me next to nothing to sin. 

​I am always looking for something else, 
something exciting and new. 
I am hoping that this time it's all different 
Another environment, but hopefully I get to find you. 

Before your brain or husk or jellyfied noodle goo solidifies 
I hope that its not to late this next timeline 
I seem to keep fucking this all up repeatedly
and it keeps costing me some lifetimes 

So back to my original question 
If the world was ending 
could I count you to be a guest star on my couch 
one last time 
we can order something 

whatever you want 
I just want you by my side when things go to shit 
and the world restarts. 

- AW

​Narcster
Written by Ash Wednesday

​I am tired of playing house where it's not my home
Cycling through karmic patterns I am looking to burn
Always a fan of coloring
But your color are starting to show through

That fake phoney narcissistic temper tantrums.
Ive done way to much work to entertain this, going ghost like Danny Phantom. 
This shit was cute and all when I was little 
I literally looked up to you 
But now that I am taller I've gotten more vocal and stronger.

​I could ghost you forever
And feel nothing but better
A sigh of relief
A breath without assistance
I have begged you for years to give a shit about me
I am sorry I was the one that finally graduated with your supposed degree. 

But I am 30+ and you dont know the first thing about me 
You spat insults at me when we go out in public and you feel like I get too much attention.
But I'll tell you this, people would approach you more too if you actually believed in things like the middle class, treating wait staff like a human being, and things like inflation. 

​I am sure one day youll get it
And hopefully by that time 
You will stop blaming me for ruining your life. 
You're not a kid anymore, we are both adults 
Its time to stop holding a grudge

I tell you every year I wish you never had me.
Life is unbearable and i blame you 100% 
You selfishly thought you could be a parent 
But your brain wasn't even fully developed yet.

​You couldn't leagally drink at your wedding
Then had me shortly after. 
I am so glad I broke your families generational curse. 
I am planning to die alone with my cat 
I am just a little spicy spinster. 

Congratulations you did it parent of the year
I would turn in my grave if I ever got an "I am proud of you." 
I am so used to being left 
That I just keep on moving and don't give it a second though
Too much time to get a new hold of myself
I am not sure what is what 

Its a sobering feeling being removed from your head
I am so sick of allowing the wrong people that need therapy, an awaking, and are on the rebound mend. 

- Ash Wednesday 

​Casting Call 
Written by Ash Wednesday

Casting in a shared shadow
That I have been there once before
Written down upon the walls
Catching up to me before I fall. 

Let's go honestly
And let out a silent collective Siren 🚨 Scream
Blown away past the heartache 
I am going to be the one who was forever
"The right girl, but the wrong timing."

​But with time to me just a construct
It is something to be manipulated 
Come on backwards to me 
Let's all silently calmly be.

Check the mental gymnastics for the day
I am just looking to relax and play
Maybe steal your heart for a minute
Definitely take a T shirt or two

Cozy myself inside the 4 chambers of your heart
It was like I was there from the start 
Pull me close to you
Meshed insides no longer just two.

I am so sorry for not speaking up about how I felt and feel about you
It's been a while since I heard your voice but 
I replay your voicemails and fall apart inside

​( and wonder how the ever loving fugucccck you knew my given government name) 

Just wanted to make sure you knew I think the whole world of you 
What fabricated time did you want to meet up in the ethos? The cosmos? A multitude of multiverses.

I'll be there for you in every timeline
​
Ash Wednesday

​Sun Room 
Written by Ash Wednesday

​Lately this lack of sleep has still manage to make me feel wide a WAKE. 
Feeling like I have been barely present
But I am busy exploring new TERRAIN
You would like this place I think
The BACKYARD itself is most impressive
I am just really ironically allergic to grass. 

​The sun always hits my bedroom at 5:30 am 
I can come by tomorrow night
Banking its way around the house
I don't think I have ever been tanner

Thats the other thing too, 
I think you both would love to meet Banner
I miss falling asleep in the summertime
In your side sun room. 
Getting obliterated numbing out into oblivion awfully. 

​And I wanted to thank you personally
For all the depression you have deposited
On to me
My body needed the rest 
Because if i stop ans relax 
I turn into a travisty.

I needed to take your constant criticism and jadedness. 
To be molded and formed into what I am about to be.
You may think I am fine nothing bothering me
But I'll never open up again to you like I did again 
No more vulnerability and nakedness. 

Let me know if you ever want to take a nap 
In your sunroom
Let the light play actoss our skin 
As our coffees get cold together
Ignoring any signs of the world

Just wanted to fall asleep next to you. 

- Ash Wednesday 

I cut all of my plastic six-pack rings at work and home, because I believe in consensual choking. 
It takes me everything and anything not to grab their neck when our lips are touching.
They are not you. 
They won't play with me like you do. 
The conversations are a bit stale and sometimes boring. 
I am checking in and out more and more of reality. 
You're like a cavity I just can't stop tounging. 
Too much and rich for me 
But you are a broken shell of a human being. 

​I wish you spoiled me with loyalty
Instead of whatever the fuck game you were attempting at playing.
I just want someone to play chess with. 
I think you would have been the perfect opponent. 
But then again I am the queen of playing myself.

​ Trapped in a room with you was like being alone with a shattered mirror. Just look at yourself. 
We are both Fragile dealing with the repercussions of your 7 years of bad luck. We are both afraid. We are both scared. We are both broken. And abused. And absolutely now I am 100% sure you and I have the same mentality. Baby we are boarding on the lines of reality- so I'll ask you one last time fuckin stop spying on me from the comforts of your castle and fucking play with me one more time. 

I should strip you of me- but we're both masochistic.
Not of your dignity you have done that long ago 
But of the scales  that you had to weigh decisions and yourself. 

​I should strip you like I have for the past few life times
We just meet in different skin suits 
But you seem so familiar because I've known you thought the centuries even if it was just in passing or a few hours. 

I believe in consensual choking
And I think I carry some weight more than you would like to admit.
I am an awful person apparently the absolute worst 
Yet I am your go to drug of course. 

You started drinking enough for the both of us I didn't even have to bring a bottle to my lips. 
You told me you would never allow that of me. It least I think that's what you said to me it was hard to make out with that lisp. 

I could use a little consensual choking

A.W. 

Short Circuit
Written by Ash Wednesday 

​Zapping electronics since the 90s
Tapping into wires and always trying to find "ME" 
Forever shortening the electoral circuitry
Corrupting electronic effortlessly

I am an electromagnetic anomaly 
But I am really just a bunch of 
Bagged up water and guts 
Squished together
morphed under a little bit of pressure
When my body fucking flakeys and gives out 
All i can think of "The Audacity!" 

​Nothing different about you or me
Not sure what is what is what 
But i find a lot of comfort 
Of being surrounded by other people's stuff. 

Becuae I am not used to the stillness 
The blaring mediocrity. 
But when my body goes into full chaos mode 
I can finally actually relax and thive. Its called PTSD tenacity. 

Sometimes I short circuit, my body goes limp
And it starts to unravel
"Just sit back relax"
I really don't know the meaning of that word. 

​If I look ut up in a dictionary
The last time I actually sat still 
I was living in a condo off Byberry. 
And if my body starts to separate we know the drill. 

Just grab the nearest electric thing near 
Hold it in your left hand, kick it into first gear. 
Work yourself until your fucking exhausted
Get those dopamine receptors defrosted. 

Electric impulses 
Conducive through earth, dirt, worms, and sand. 
I am so tired of feeling everyone's hurt.
And trauma, and electrical technical difficulties. 

I am not a condusive conductor
I am not a medical professional, 
I am not a psychologist or a doctor 
I am not equipped to short circuit your trauma and pain.

Yall need professional help 
I am already overly employed
And have nothing to gain. 
Fuck my caring nature it was a learned behavior
For coping ingrained in my left brian. 

Live 
Laughing at nothing in particular
Toaster (oven) 
And Bath.

These are some of my go to dope anime hacks. 


- Ash Wednesday