Ash Wednesday! Chaotic Neutral

Chaotic Neutral
Written by Ash Wednesday 

​Chaotic Neutral I feel nothing here or there
 I feel nothing everywhere
 I am unhappy no stop 
doesn't matter who I am with in a house
 that should feel like home or in a sweaty basement
 I love you but I think less of you.
 It's cute when you try to turn them into me.
I am so sick of the same storylines and catastrophe
Played by other characters
But not learning the lessons 
I don't know who I would be 
Without all of the mental health shit and depression

​Chaotic Neutral going postal nuclear angelic
Diabolical disposable
Replaced easily in careers and love 
I am most days bed bound and spud
Read far too much for mosts liking 
I can disappear for days and not miss anything 
Because I have nothing to base anything on 
I am making this all up as I go 
There is something of someone out there that's also been this low. 
With trust issues so great it only takes one mistake 
For me to say fuck this and go 
I'll be better off on my own. 
I can't handle the hurt and rejection that others choose instead of others reflections. 
Ill hurt myself constantly because I know I can handle it. Savagely harsh and sabotages greatly 
I am not going to stop now. 
This is just a me thing. 

Chaotic Neutral
All of nothing
None of this is normal
Trapped in this karmic worm hole.

A.W.