Ash Wednesday! Hold My Drink(s): Why I Broke Up With Alcohol

Written By: Ash Catcher 
Photograph Credit: Photodelphia, LLC Harley Maile

Happy Wednesday! If you are just starting to read these things, Hi welcome, I am Ash, and I guess some people would call me a writer/artist what have you. If you have been reading for the past 2 years of me doing this… go the fuck outside this article can wait but that sun serotonin is gonna hit you so much better than this blog post ever could, I promise you that! ​

Breaking up with Booze: Breaking up with anyone, or in this case anything is never easy, and addiction is not either. It's a weird awkward unspoken relationship with yourself that with the assistance of alcohol seems to just make that person staring back at you in the mirror a bit more palatable. I need it to feel better about myself, or I need it to not be so shy- whatever your logic is its pretty apparent that if you’re building up a tolerance the worse its going to be when you do decide to redact alcohol and just fuck off into the woods cause you can kiss your social life good fucking bye. You’re going to want to spend a few days or weeks… years getting a grip on yourself more or less. I know people that are 20 years sober and I know people that are 20 mins sober. It can vary quite a bit regardless life these days doesn’t just seem unbearable I can see people I have know for years deteriorate infant of me live on IG or Facebook daily- So far in 2022 alone I have lost 5 people to addiction, that averages about 1 person a month- very unsettling. ​

​Dating and Not Drinking: “Lets go and grab a drink.” Oh actually sorry I cant…… won’t? I am not sure when I came to realize a few tings about dating but the one thing I found was that meeting up for coffee because like a thing of the past- coffee is usually a safe bet because its in the middle of the day and its uh… well its not fucking alcohol. I used to get really defensive and uptight when someone would ask me to meet them for a drink. But now I usually just accept it, skip the soap box, talk about why I cut alcohol and meet up at the bar anyway. When they see me order a cranberry seltzer without the vodka- oh boy do they get a little taken aback. Sorry I am not gonna get sloppy drunk, and come back home with you- I am not sure what about me screams that. I have to get up early in the morning, I never stop working. I do appreciate their efforts, but its a huge turn off and I’ll be very honest Ill never see your stupid ass again if you ask me to spend my time at a bar. I did that already- I am not looking to lose another 10 years of my life thanks. Is that temptation still there, oh boy you bet I just know myself better and would rather not wake up in a dryer again. 

     Isolation Hermit Mode Activated: I am never invited to parties where people are drinking- and I am saving a lot of time and money wasting my energy on intoxicated people. Lately I have actually barely been interacting with people face to face. Quite honestly I am not sure if this was a COVID thing or not but people drain the living life force out of me- like I need to drink hella amounts of water and reach for that special eye cream that one lady swore on at Terrain. It's just draining, and it happened shortly after I stopped numbing myself with alcohol- like I didn’t drink often but once I started I rarely wanted to stop. So it took maybe like three bad nights and I was like hmmm maybe I need to change some behaviors. There was also that one week a few years back where I kept getting drinks that were drugged. I wasn’t surrounded with the best people at the time, and in retrospect I was trying to maybe prove something by ordering an Oatmeal Stout in the middle of the summer but hey- makes for a great story and a little light rambling. I am not telling you what to do with your life. We all have vices, mine are just getting a bit more niche then a few glasses of rose and being hungover the next day, I am opting more for acid and a migraine. Level up! 

     Sobering Up, and Switching Out: redirection and rehabbing your habits: I think professionals say it takes anywhere from 30 to 90 days to break a habit. I am super thankful that just like when I stopped smoking that I automatically knew I could fall back on running- runner's high is a legit thing and while it doesn’t replace the feeling of having a few beers after a hard day- that shit is well like all this stuff addicting. I love running- lately walking and I am super happy I live in a place where it is pedestrian friendly, I know it's not logical or practical to take 2 hours out of your day to go for a walk but even 20 minutes of movement is technically 20 more minutes more than what you did before you started. Just keep moving. So Cheers, with some cranberry juice ( appropriately sweetened) and some seltzer. I am always here for my friends and family - anyone for that matter that wants to talk about cutting out alcohol. ​

Cheers you degenerates I better see you next Wednesday!




-ASH ​