Ash Wednesday! I AM A SIDE OF Parsley: A piece about being unwanted- and everyone’s most loathed garnish.

​I AM A SIDE OF Parsley: A piece about being unwanted- and everyone’s most loathed garnish. 
Written By: Ash Catcher 

I am a side of parsley. 
I just fucking sitting there.
Not doing a whole lot of anything.   
Nobody wants me. 

I am like a side of parsley. 
Just on display, nothing special- on the plate.
And just like my cousin celery, You wont eat me unless you're drunk- I am  bound to decay. 
Nobody wants me. 


A one way trip into the trash. 
I have the audacity to garnish anything from pancakes to potatoes that are mashed.   
I am just fucking tras, leftover vegatation, my very purpouse has now become puzzling. 
Empty calories, taste like water and suffering. 
 

I am a side of parsley 
Dip me in salt water once a year- I am just a walking culinary metaphor. 
I have no idea why people buy me. 
A garnish most grotesque, I hold no value- but damn do I make your chicken breasts. 


I am a side of parsley 
Just a side piece to say the very least. 
I am nothing but a bastard of a plant 
I should be the illegal one, welcome to my TED TALK listen to me rant. 

I am a side of parsley. 
Why the fuck are there so many varieties of me? 
Nobody bothers with me... 
My only job is to garnish your plate. ( I feel like a mistake) 


I am the ultimate side dish, 
The initial side decor- 
The O.G. culinary decoration. 
Plate me you bitch, 15 seconds left- tie that dish together, present me to the judges. 

I am a side of parsley 
Empty- nothing, not caloric. 
Eat me, and nothing happens 
As far as garnishes go I am happy you asked if we associate with the Green Party (DUH) and We’re quite active and political. 

I am a side of parsley 
I hold no purpose that I am aware of 
At least I am not cilantro, and taste like soap despair 
Muddled green madness in your face
I have been casted aside with haste. 
Thrown about with no direction 
Most parsley's fate is not heaven 
We are all someone's parsley. 

I really don’t want to be parsley.  
I wanted to be someone's main course- not a side dish. 
I am a side of parsley- I am a piece of shit. 
I am full of myself- I want to throw everything away, and just quit. 



-Ash ​