G & T 
Program 
Mk Ultra via headsets and keystone 
Stem and get the best out 
Ooo she is a little out there 
Let's use her for science 
Small group setting 
And now I have a slight aversion to Dixie Cups 
The couple pink 
But a knack for puzzles and problems 
Trading the Gifted and talented for gin and tonics
Computer labs and back rooms 
I cannot even believe I was apart of such shit 
It's foggy and groggy but I know what I saw 
A little room with a few kids 
No windows at all 
And. The. Audacity. Of. Them. 
To use my gifts like that 
I refuse to sub come to this caviot 
This literal psychic shit 
Gifted and talented
Well then where is my present? 
Where is the shit that I was promised 
It's now just for the hell of it 
But I hate that I can read people 
Like a damn open book 
The ladies and work and the shit eating looks 
The oh she is a little out there 
Maybe she is strange 
Maybe she can just read you like all the emails that you saved. 
Forced to find organs on the Oregon trails 
Hypotheticals that were never supposed to be there 
The GATE THE PORTALS 
What are the same? 
This project definitely deserves a C at best. 


Ash Wednesday 

​I was craving a quesadilla before work 
Instead I heard your name again 
I looked up 
And it was your dad 

I forgot both our fathers lived in the same shit hole suburban hell. 
Both dismissive and avoidant 
But oh boy oh boy do we sure look like em 

Spitting images 
Flaws and all 
I would rather die than 
Revist that chapter 

​Put on the back burner 
Indefinitely let us simmer 
Something new 
What should I watch, what's for dinner? 

And I'll be the first to tell you 
I miss those stupid videos you used to make me 
The ones we sent back and forth 
And the one we were making 

The stupid pastry strudels review 
Came up on my stupid memories page 
I went to check the schedule on one of my jobs 
And there you were your voice and everything. 

Acceptance is something I am not the best at 
I'll beat things once they're dead and gone 
Can you blame me I am a mess 
But I can't imagine being any less

It's not any fun 
When the rabbits have the gun 


nothing above
nothing below 
nothing above
nothing below 

I've learned more about you
Both in separation 
And in my life and line of sight 
You have always been a distant distraction ​

I am convinced I made it all up 
And I refuse to let up 
It's not any fun 
When the rabbits have the gun 


nothing above
nothing below 
nothing above
nothing below

I would give you another chance 
But can we even get past a glance 
Successful separately disastrous together same song different lyrics
I think I've repeatedly this enough to get the gist

Nothing above 
Something's below 
All of this matter less 
Nothing to show 

No picture or proof 
Just your word against mine 
A credible source no doubt 
Only the saltiest filth I see as Divine ​

​I'll rip you to pieces 
And drown you silently 
They're not thinking of you 
Just all the things you used to 

And typing out a whole bunch of nothing 
And deleting it by dawn 
I've been there done that 
Same old story until it's over used and gone 

A clue here or there 
A whisper of your name 
A credit card with your initials 
Your dumb fucking car model 

I see it all 
And notice it far too much 
For the shadow that you once casted 
And gone physically withdrawals 

You've seen someone trying to outrun their shadow? 
Good God is it messy for you 
And as a third party on looker 
That shit is a crash waiting to happen 

I am waiting for it to happen 
For someone to tell me it's all a joke 
I should stop checking my email 
You're not coming back 

Just like the others
Gone in a flash 
Another smothered 
Another failed plot 

This messy teeth biting 
Screaming into the Pillows 
To muffle out the best you can 
The three am night terror's 

That shit in my head 
All the crap that you filled 
Left for someone elses undoing 
I can't fathom you now

You must know what you're doing. 
I think I just like the way you eluid me 
It's a fucking masterpiece 
Way better then the physical shit you bring 

​Goblin mode 

Ethel Cain & Sleepy T 

Unpopular unapologetically me 

This thing that's hiding behind me 

1 and 3. 12 and me 

This is a slippery house for me 

So much things left unseen 

House of cards built on cotaspteophys 

​Place of shadows 

House of pain 

Blacked out house 

Mocking the silent sound 

Heaven grounded I am beyond help 

Got a lot of squares in my chart 

It's just the universe shifting itself 

A self correcting prophecy 

It is all too familiar with me 

This shadow plane 

Is one that I dig down and thrive in. 

Geminis a gem when it comes to this topic 
I don't know if you knew this but 
Most air signs are imbalanced 
The twins for contradictory 

Without one witch is in control 
Don't know which one you'll get 
hell they don't even know
Tell on each other's personalities for sure 

Aqurius you let it be know 
What you are and it sure shows 
You turn up the charisma 
And over do everything else 

Write off all the little details 
Because the big picture is what you guys are all about 
And it doesn't matter who you betray 
The top is where you were destined to stay. 

​And Libra you have got to be the first worst 
But I save you for last because no sign no longer compares
You're always seeking something new and shiny and something to pit against each other.

You're a little shit started and love to tip peoples scales 
Casual option turned obsession 
You act like you got it all together 
But there is some shady shadow that's cast on you. 

I of course don't mean to double speak 
But these are some things that I have seen 
And these traits ring true across the board 
I'll do anything to cut these cords. 

AW 

​You think Taco  Bell is Health
But you do rails of coke daily
Chugging Diet Soda and Beer 
Added sunken senselessness  in your Gaming chair constantly

But I remember better times 
And not all those shameless digs 
What were you trying to unpack and unearth
Your closet is not the only one filled with skeletons 

There are IDs and idiots 
And when I saw your reddit I knew 
This dude is incapable of loving me 
I better chalk it up to a loss. 
( That's healthy EGO) 


I remember: 

Basement shows 
Pup album morbid stuff 
Cooking with your friends and not giving a fuck 
Exploring waterfalls 
Centralia dates
Kissing on the Ferris wheel for my birthday
(Even though I didn't get me an actual gift) 

You really had me going 
Shameless
String out on string cheese tomatoes from out back and hope (lessness) 

That you would change and your family would love me no matter what 
But that was never the case 
Maybe they couldn't handle my authenticator indicator
But your mom's a fucking train wreck
And your dad is more absent than mine 

​Scope----- off topic 
You exude ugliness
Of course you're not attracted to me 
You hate women, that I can see 

You hate me 
You genuinely hate me 
Like your mom, your sisters, and your aunt
All three 

I wish you nothing but the most sincerest animosity
Like you showed me and showered me in coldest
I could have counted on one hand 
The times you weren't bitching. 

It's low vibrations 
And I know nothing's change
You still yell on your soapbox
Keyboard in hand, it is a shame you were hardly a man. 

-This crab needs pats of encouragement ( and butter) -A little squirt of lemon to counteract my moodiness 
-someone to keep me on track so I don't keep getting distracted by side quests
-time to marinate and get used to speaking my mind. 
-i am used to leaving in a pinch
-i know underneath this shell I am tender 
-eat me often 
-you managed to get me into your bed but I can't help but lay awake after and wonder what you have me saved as under in your phone.
I am a crabby moody quiet girly 

But I can't show that openly 

AW

​I like you so much that 
I would spare you from me 
Air signs need blue prints 
So they know how you work to play you.
I've been loosely raised by two 
So I am qualified to say this 
My sibling(s) an earth sign 
But that fucker is so wishy washy 
Only when it's convenient for their feelings 
Are they to be considerate. 
And I am a gluten free punishment 
So I surrounded myself with Water signs 
Because we absolutely absorb each other 
And sometimes it's just too much 
Most sensitive people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
But we hold grudges like we would hold the door for you. 

And bro, you little flamers it's all about you 
You think you give off main character energy 
But I know way too much about you 
You're welcome to join and try and change my opinion 
But I think you fire signs are just hot headed and need someone to hold them. 


a.w.