With the most overlooked holiday finally past us, I can not be more thankful for everything that has happened this year. How I decided to celebrate Thanksgiving was the most needed getaway in uh well this year I guess? All I wanted to do was take a bath, and yeah I am sure that is kinda a dumb thing to want, but as a water sign your girl thrives in the water. Good luck getting me out of it. I decided a staycation was very much needed.  I went to Lancaster for about 24 hrs, there were no televisions, or screens in my room, I had limited use of my cellphone. I just wanted to get back to center and appreciate time with myself, and my partner. I cannot even begin to describe how good of an idea that was— but I am gonna do it anyway because then we wouldn’t have a meaty Ash Wednesday Entry. ​

This year taught me to be thankful from everything that has happened to snagging a really cool house, going further with more responsibility with my job, a thriving side business, If you don't know I am an avid pet sitter, and dog walker- shit is lucrative, and of course I am thankful for myself, my partner, and our two cats.  I think life was at one time moving way too fast, well now it is moving even faster, we are almost in December already and I look back at my timeline every so often and I just see this beautiful person who literally couldn’t care less what people think of her. The whole point of writing is you keep doing it, and doing it, and doing it, until something sticks. I felt that way about art and as much as I want to paint again, it really hasn’t felt like something I need to do, I journal, and doodle, and I will draw still life in the cafe, or of Banner but I really do not feel like I need to express myself with such an intensity that I get when I am painting. ​

​-I'll Catch Ya Next Week

The Grind
Written By: Ash Catcher

On my days off, although few and far between 
Riddled with milage on the car, and a fuck ton of caffeine. 
Fast paced, only 24 hrs to spare. 
Bought yet another fuckin wicker chair. 

Breakfasts because I have the time. 
Self love, time crunched, literal paradigm.
Days off full of indulgences. 
Travel my ass off until I hit fatigue. 

Howdy Soudy, I guess you’re pretty cool. 
Town as large as a gram molecule. 
On to the next, transient mistress. 
 What is three cortados in one day, shit is so resistless.

But it is the grind I find the most peace. 
Social media, press release. 
Nobody gives a shit about my breakfast. 
Or if my grades were better, I would have been a biochemist. 

In the end it is as real as you make it. 
Your life is your life, you put out what you permit. 
If I give you my time, I would count yourself lucky. 
Borderline semi obsessed with hush-puppies 

At the end of the day I just can't wait to get home to you. 
Parked finally out of everyone’s way the little Kylo Coup.
When it's time for sleep, it comes so easy now. 
Cuddled up to the cat and Cow. 




-Ash

Written By: Ash Catcher 

( Myself in 2010) WAY before tattoos. 


You know what I do not understand, parents who leave their adult child’s room immortalized in time. Like every room I see  is a time capsule of hard 2005 - 2010  vibes. Think Teen Vogue encapsulated in a teenage girl's room, who in reality is married, and a doctor…. Like why my parents could not wait to turn my room into a guest bedroom- or better yet my younger sibling was stoked to get my ensuite bathroom.  I pet sat recently, and I had this weird little realization, you know, staying in a former sorority girls room has it’s weird vibes to it.


 Here were some conclusions I came to during my extended stay: 
This happens any time I go to the suburbs. 

1. You love to shop, I thought I had a lot of clothes. But they are not unique items- you want to fit in like in a box, you want people to like you, you want to be like everyone else. I am waiting to see the designer handbags stuffed under your bed, hmmmm nothing underneath interesting. You have a doctorate, you know how to hide things not in plain sight. 
2. The books you read, when I can find ones that are not for your medical studies are bland and how many copies of Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants does one need really. 
3. I see traces of your college self, I am sure it provides you with the same security that it did in College- you are the type of person to throw money at a problem and hope that it solves it- science right. You pay for friends, I think that is weird. Friends forever, my little my big- my superior, my heart hurts for you that you don't see yourself as equal to other women. 
4. KAPPA DELTA PHI SIGMA SIGMA MU GAMMA all sound like barn animal noises. 
5. The amount of  Teen Fiction that I have come across tonight in addition to copies of The Great Gatsby is absurd. 
6. Why so many trophies? SoftBall, Volleyball, all the balls, it is just plastic, you get validation from plastic people and things. You went to camp for fun, and never had to work and go to school at the same time because I can tell by your room, they gave you everything. 
7. Coach Bags, Tiffany Jewelry, heck this room looks like it belongs to a middle school girl in 2006, everything Is left perfectly as it is, you're oddly clean but you have a lot of things. 
8. Why are you obsessed with smelling so good? Channel, Trussardi, Diesel, Marc Jacobs Daisy, That DKNY apple thing why do I feel like I have slipped into an alternate dimension or at the very least one of those perfume ads with a bit of the product engulfing it. No wonder teen magazines have that nostalgic smell- its capitalism baby. 

 I need to leave this teen vogue scene. 

Xoxo Gossip Squirrel 

I have been all over the place.
Lost track of how many times I have rented a UHAUL SPACE.
I Bought stock in my business, I am no dummy. 
Been around some real sick people all of them are scummy. 

But for some reason the one thing I can see. 
Is this one place I always end up, Umbria had too much Ghee. 
My Kingsley house was a freaking reality show nightmare. 
And my new place is next to a rock, and a dog named Bear. 

But what do you know those last two places have something in common. 
They are softer, quieter, calmer, never waffling. 
Solidified next to stone, this house is more like a home. 
Only downside is I don't have a front yard for your gnome. 


So the street I thought I could be, has been broken into several parts. 
I guess it takes a little bit of time to buy a house, when you have a degree in liberal arts.
But I did it and it's done, now I can decorate and have some fun. 
Down the street from some of the best WON- TONS. 

Plants, wicker, and my cat. 
Living here, music blasting- Tonight it is the Fruit Bats. 
Something feels off in this place. 
Purgatory, people, glossing over, big mistakes. 

Can't seem to form a full cohesive sentence. 
I wish I liked the Descendants. 
Milo can go anywhere he wants to, but he is not welcome in my house. 
Tired of the psychic babble, this game of cat and mouse. 
​
-Ash 

​No Hope: All Hallows Eve in New Hope PA
Written By: Ash Catcher 

     Coming off of this past week/ weekends festivus, I brought myself to the conclusion that the day before Halloween does not nearly  get enough recognition. I had a wonderful Halloween, I chose to dress up and go out to eat with my partner and I have to admit it was one of the most magical weekends of my life. I just feel so immensely loved it is at times overwhelming. We don't get to see each other nearly enough but we have traveled a lot together, this past weekend I had the best place in mind to celebrate All Hallows Eve, New Hope, PA  and Lambertville New Jersey. Both our home states are represented, it is always nice to have time together away from work, and the real world. My time was mystical to say the least. I did however half way through the day start to miss my cat, but my brother sent me a picture and I gave him a huge hug when I got home so it was ok. ​

  I am a big thrifter but I know New Hope is full of them, but some of them are just straight up Boutiques in disguise, I had to go pay my respects to Love Saves The Day: a wacky mix and match borderline novelty sex shop, or at least it should be- I haven’t gotten a record since the summer and finally found That Fleetwood Mac album everyone tried to recreate for Halloween this year, $16 bucks it felt criminal, it also looks like an original vinyl so that is even cool, time to collect dust with my other ones, come at me! I also bought two pins, "They say Proud Cat Mom, and Proud Cat Dad'' We both have cats, Orange Boys and love them so so so much! I also love the mannequin graveyard in the back alley of this store. It is very Erie. ​

 I also had the coolest Kava experience at MagiKava, I will be highlighting them in Atomic this week hands down. It was certainly an experience. I felt cool as a cucumber for not eating one once in over a week, essentially a cold brew tea or assorted roots, good Kava will taste a bit like those days when you were left unsupervised as a kid and tried to eat dirt. Don't deny it. Even better Kava will numb your tongue on contact and then boy are you in for it. I was in Tea heaven, and the had homemade candles, and massage oil We picked up some goodies for sure. ​

     Oddly enough I guess the underlying theme of the day was mushrooms, I found a cool place- I normally don't go to places that have a bunch of dried meat but I did find some vegan mushroom jerky. Mushies are some of my favorites, to eat, to trip on, again taste like dirt, but this one had some chipotle and was spiiiicyyyyy as heck. It was a good thing I caved and purchased a fleet of gummy sharks to mask my spicy mushy breath. 10/10 ​

 Finally we needed to end the day across the bridge in Lambertville New Jersey, they take halloween decor very seriously. The one I wanted to see  the most was a house- of course I forgot the street it was on so we grabbed coffee and roamed the streets, my partner is a very good sport, we walk alot and its easy on my joints, work has been murder on my body and I am not working out that much these days. We got a lovely walk in, I exclaimed how cute every other house was, we said hello to strangers who lived there and acted like we lived there, it was the best time and we did end up finding the house, a very cool Tim Burton inspired themed walk through haunted attraction, she makes everything all the clothes of every character, and all walks of life come, I was in front of a group of people speaking Russian and got a kick out of what they were saying. I met my weekly stray cat quota- however he belongs to someone because he had a collar on it that said Theo, he was tiled too, if I tried to tile Banner I most likely would have lost an eye! ​

Side note to the Raccoon who keeps scratching at my door at 4 am, please stop scaring the absolute living shit out of me. ​

See ya next week! 
​
-Ash 

Wear Does It Go? 
By: Ash Catcher

I have too much to wear, but they all are not originally mine. 
Different people’s shirts on my spine. 
All styles are nothing really concrete. 
A variety of shoes on my feet. 

Nothing like the fastest of fashion. 
Cheap, black crop tops, worn and ashen. 
An abundance of cloth.
Not sure what my closet says about me, some say it’s goth. 

Like I said it is just fast fashioned, 250 dollar jeans for 10.99 plus glasses
I glance up and down the isles, scouring through the piles like molasses. 
Since I lived on my own (17) off to the thrift store I go. 
Prices are good, and pretty great for the borough. 

Can’t keep my composure in the jacket aisle. 
And it is always a great place to see what is in style. 
Never thought I would always want other rejects. 
Don’t look for clothes with holes or smell like cigarettes. 

Yes! Another fuckin black tank top! 
And my umpteenth book, cheaper than the bookshop
Score and save, for those under paid. 
Some say its useless and a downgrade. 


I think those people are silly. 
Nobody wants to look like everyone else, at least involuntary. 

-Ash Catcher 

Bar soap, cucumbers, and Iced Americanos 
In my spare time I watch documentaries about Parmigiano-Reggiano.     
Squirrels seem to be my staple animal.
Mostly moving, using cash, so it is not traceable and taxable. 


Yes, that smell you smell is me. 
At this point I could get a lavender degree. 
Bar soap I am obsessed with I have way too much
Hide them in shoes, my walk-in- closet, just another way to smudge. 


My skin now is just about half way inked. 
No longer judged, just eyed up, and down I guess it's some peoples kink. 
What is that in your mouth? "A Lemon.” I responded with the rind over my teeth. 
"But isn’t that like…uh really sour?” To which I just say: “Achievement complete.” 

Plants Ash you have too many! 
Fuck you dude, I only have just about under 60. 
Your cat has overtaken your instagram, and maybe your life. 
BRB going out to get freeze dried chicken- ethical moral strifes.


Decked out in black, but you’re still blonde and ditzy. 
Adidas sporting, speed walker, gothic gypsy. 
I am sure you mean well but you keep staring. 
If I come off essentric I assure you I am not I just cannot fucking stand ordinary, and boring. 

Lavender Coconut Coffee: Three Very Ash Things
I own more than an average amount of spoon rings. 
Too many boots, about 1,000 black crop tops. 
All of a sudden rocking a pair of rainbow flip flops. 

I guess you could know me, or you think you did.
Narrow it down like that game with the squid. 
Tick off the boxes, I cannot fit into a human concepted shape. 
It has been fun, and all but I will be at the grape. 

-Ash Catcher 

     Apparently, and I shit you not I only get really car sick when I leave Pennsylvania. What the fuck Ash, this past weekend I was supposed to go to Delaware which technically I did- I just got one of the most worst waves of car sickness I have ever had. I had only experienced this a few times as a kid, usually when my dad was driving. That stop, go that puts your little developing child tummy in the most cohesive of knots. Like that but add those mysterious side stitch things that make you just want to say “ OK, I  am done with this simulation- respond damnit!” I used to get those when I used to teach, but it turned out they were kidney infections. Who knew, only took a few emergency trips for them to fill me up with a 200 dollar bag of saline. Bless you American Health System Bless you. Apparently car sickness is equated to hearing issues which I believe everyone has developed over the past 2 years. 

     Why oh why do  I get car sick when I leave the state? I start to get the craziest anxiety attacks to follow, and for some reason break out into a cold sweat, but I am hot as hell. So what is the deal? Am I secretly not allowed to leave PA? Because looking back- Covid aside I have kept my adventures pretty close to home. I work a lot, and have recently started dog sitting again with everyone else starting to go on vacation. Life has been pretty packed and lucrative, but for the life of me when I do get a day off and find myself wandering- I just feel sick- like guilty. I don't drive that much anymore, not that I don't want to, I just am kinda sick of it. I finally have a driveway in my house and after 4 years of scrounging for parking and parallel parking- I freaking hate that I am kinda for the time being trying not to drive so much. My wallet, and stomach thank me, gas is way too expensive just for me to get sick and want to go home an hour into a car ride. 

     I did try tho, but unfortunately yet again I went to Delaware only to not leave the car again, oh well 5th time's the charm. I still need some cool places to visit when i have a free weekend or two in December, hit me up with any ideas and ill be sure to take some ginger tea with me and not stare at my phone so much in the car. 

\ I am blaming this one on those planets in retro / 


-Ash Catcher 

​Written By: Ash Catcher 

     Cute, and Artsy, vegan coffee, heavily tattooed people who make me feel like I am not worthy- sounds like a magical land, while that may sound true that is just Asbury Park New Jersey. I have been here more times than I can count, each time I think the same things: 1) this is a great place for a photoshoot and 2) I end up freaking out over how stinking cute the ungodly pricey beach houses are in the town one over: Ocean Grove. Everything looks like it is off the set of Shrek, which still follows me way too much for my liking still. I swear I am going to have a vacation property there one day, even if it is a little beach bungalow. 

     Asbury Park reminded me a lot about that one show Boardwalk Empire it's not the best movie but the area has mad Gatsby vibes mixed with that just right amount of artsy alternative vibe: in other words It is what I envision a scene from Flapjack, just more sunny and bright! Known also as one of the most Unofficial Gay Towns in New Jersey, Asbury PK- it is not just all about Bruce Springsteen or Brian Fallon, although I have seen both these guys here, which was pretty dope. 

     Founded in 1871, Asbury Park quickly became a hot spot for people to vacation too- and still is I guess, although I am always here for a day, but each time I try to do something new. This time it was my mission to acquire postcards, and at least two magnets for my ugly ass fridge. Mission was a success! The town layout which bleeds into the next town essentially: Ocean Grove is inspired by European Cities, which is coincidentally like the town I have been living in for the past few years. Okay Ash focus….

​     In more recent years Asbury has gotten a huge face lift. It is pretty genderfied now. But why gentrify the shore? It literally seems like almost the edge of humanity, the last stop- something about the ocean and the end of the world. Idk why my head always goes there but it does. But now there is no reason to fear coffee roasters, vegan hot dog venders, crystal shops, and the always closed fortune tellers kiosk. Yet the record store was nowhere to be found WTF. 

     Traces of subtle Victorian architecture, sandwiched around colorful works of art on the wall, honestly there is just something e3rie about this place- that I always find myself saying “I cannot wait to go back.” 

- Ash Catcher 

Fragile Masculinity 
Written By: Ash Catcher ​

I am too clumsy to be around fragile masculinity 


We do not exactly have the best report. 

But I know a little something, I think you know it and more. 

Even CEO’s drag up the recycling bins. 

My mom screams, in my head as a gemini sign she is her own literal  twin. 

Twisted, tired, tied up in knots. 

Bored the other day, I traveled to the town of Pots.

Some funny feelings I had up there 

Swore I saw someone with your same hair.  

My cat literally has the same temperament as you 

What would I give to be a little closer to some Moos. 

Not sure where this thing can go, or if I am taking up too much rental space in my head. 

No idea where I am headed these days, best to just shut up and get back to work, and look ahead. 

I am too clumsy to be around fragile masculinity. 

Shut up, eat me out,  and fix the Xfinity connection. 

Rainbow pours out of my cup

C'mon dude, enough I just want my stuff. 

Exhausted this scenery, I know everyone there is to know

I now know every bridge and borough. 

Give me a change of scenery somewhere with lots of trees. 

Finally coming off my high, now I just got the munchies