Who Do You Write For?

As I've been in an on again off again relationship with a the book I've been writing for the past seven years, I'm ashamed to admit I've only recently started thinking about this. I've been asking myself: why am I still doing this? Who is this for? In true Long Shot Books fashion, I don't have any answers to these questions, but I have plenty of thoughts that lead to more unanswered questions. 

While I've been thinking about this, I've come across a lot of articles on the 'net that preach writing for yourself, and others that tell you to do the opposite. Then there's a shit ton of articles that talk about it like it's some scale that needs to be balanced, where the answer is somewhere in between. 

What team should you play for? Hell if I know. That's a question I can't answer. As with anything, with the good comes the bad:

Write for yourself (screw everybody else):
The Bad:
-I've had the experience of seeing some folks who fall into that mindset where their work is great no matter what. They're geniuses. Any criticism furthers their perception that the're a misunderstood artists. They are Squidwards. 
-I've been warned that if you don't try to relate to your readers, they won't be able to connect to your work. You might be perceived as being a bit out of touch, and your work may not resonate the same way it "should."

The Good:
-I guess you get to honor your vision without letting those fears of how other people will take it stop you?
-It's touted as being a more"honest" work because it's more "you"? (Though you could argue that most people consider themselves the heroes of their own lives and portray themselves as such.)

Write for others (it's not always "selling out"): 
The Bad:
-You sell out and write that obligatory holiday book that ends up on a Top 10 (or Top 100) list somewhere.
-You risk coming off as inauthentic if what you're writing isn't "you." (one aspect of impostor syndrome).
-You get so preoccupied with what other people think and get so worried about offending anyone that your art takes a it for it. 

The Good:
-You get readers?

Where am I going with this? Add that to the list of unanswered questions. 

My fifth ex-boyfriend once told me I talk in cliches, and maybe he's right, but all I truly know is what I feel. I'm not qualified to dispense life advice. I don't speak from any position of authority, even as the Queen of LSB (for real, that is my job title--according to the bank at least). I'm not particularly profound. I'm just a writer working at a company for other writers. I'm not going to suggest you balance challenging yourself as an artist while delivering a story your readers want to hear--because sometimes the story that needs to be told isn't one that people want to hear (no, I'm not talking about the dystopian genre, even though that's a story I don't want to hear for a different reason). Sometimes it's not always this purpose-driven, intention-filled thing right away. Sometimes you want to enjoy that infatuation you have for that story, that poem, or whatever is consuming you at that moment. Enjoy it. Be in love for a while. Sometimes you just want to speak to be heard, even if you're just reading your poem back to yourself in the solitude of your drafty studio apartment--and the very act of writing these things into existence helps you make sense of whatever you're going through. (Maybe one day that poem or story or thing will make its way into the hands of someone who needs it, too. Writing can be a gift--for who, it doesn't matter. It can keep on giving to anybody you'd like.) Sometimes it doesn't always have to matter who it's for right away. 

Or maybe that's another question that doesn't get answered at all. 

--Maureen