Written By Ash Catcher
I feel like this is a second grade essay, “ What I learned in boating school is….” What I have learned about people just from owning a cat for almost a year is the following: It is okay to give people space - cats too need space, including my own, but I know he will always come back. I find that people who like to exit stage left tend to like to also show up out of left field as well, some time later. People and pets just sometimes need space. A time to collect, to be alone, to regroup, but will always be back. Some odd characteristics that my cat has shown me was this odd act where he would head butt me, I read up on it further and it is actually called “Bunting” Pheromones are released from their little cat noggins that show ownership of you, they’re marking you- you are their territory, people are no different. People will show that they value you over others and that they’re proud that you are theirs. Another odd thing cats do, and actually Banner my cat has not done this yet ( we don't have a mouse problem) but the act of bringing "random gifts” is something people do quite often, most often when I see someone I bring a small gift or present. That was just how I was raised, I also read that random gift giving in a relationship is also the number one sign of infidelity and cheating. I can proudly say I would never do this, I am just a very generous person, so generous in fact I am very often taken advantage of by my kindness, until poof * I am over it, very cat-like. Kneading: or as I call it “Making Muffins, or Bread” any kind it doesn’t matter, reminds me alot of how humans love to touch one another, I am very big on touch recently, I don’t normally go for hugs, and my good friends know better then to touch me unless instructed to. If I trust you, you're good in my book- I have been known to give a mean hug or two. That pressure seems to counteract stress, and I know my cat personally will seek out spots in my home that help to compress his little cat body. Poor thing needs a squeeze box in his old age. The life long cat concept that has been in practice since the dawn of well uh I guess the internet/ “If I Fits, I sit.” Could not ring more true when applied to the human race. Very rarely do people seem comfortable sitting in places for extended periods of time. So why do cats think they can sit in these bizarre places such as boxes, small baskets, my kitchen sink, and now the inside of my couch, yes the inside, Banner poked a damn hole underneath my couch and has taken to hiding his toys up there. A black hole of catnip infused toys- all gone in one swoop! Please people just sit on a chair or something! Finally the most prevalent: Cat Eyes: eye contact is its own form of language for humans, I don't know about you but I feel like I get “eye fucked” a lot- girls, guys it doesn’t matter. Human eyes say so much without having to say anything at all. You can convey thoughts, feelings, intuition, all of it. My cat and I always like to have a string contest, he always wins but I know he is just trying to get in my head, and my heart. I let him win every time. A cat's eyes, like a humans can say a variety of things: Feed me, play with me, pet my head, all that jazz. I have really seemed to have learned a great deal from owning a pet. It's humbling. See ya next Wednesday! -Ash Catcher
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August 2023
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