Ash Wednesday! Suspiria Review: Why Bitches Gotta Be Witches? My TOP 10 Witch Movies:

 I just finished both versions of The Cult Classic movie, entitled Suspira. Why oh why do male directors think they can embody feminism is beyond me. The tones of both movies seem forced, and give me strange Black Swan vibes, but uh German? I cannot imagine that working in a dance company is a walk in the park but for it to be portrayed like this cmon. I get the artsy aspect, no I really do I just am failing to see the correlation of this over used stigma, that well women are scary as fuck. To what end are we going to stop remaking movies that didn’t need a remake at all?
      The 1977 version was pretty complete in my personal opinion. I feel the exact way about Carrie as well. If you just discovered this minute genre of horror, do yourself a kindness and dont be like me I watched the original Suspira and then the remake or whatever people are branding it as. It just doesn’t work. This late version reminded me so much of that movie with Jennifer Lawrence, Mother that I was like uh WTF. I had to watch that movie twice in a row, but it wasn’t because I didn’t understand the plot…. I got “distracted”. 
      Suspiria was violent, and gory to be sure, but it was also overwhelmingly poetic in Argento's command of color and visual language I am a huge sucker for lighting in movies, it's very David Fincher / Oliver Stone but like just a dash of Rob Zombie  — the knives danced just as gracefully as the film's ballerinas and the splashes of blood more evoked a modern art painting than the slasher film I had expected. It is abstract as all fuck. 
My one small problem was this: 
     But why do women always get to be witches? Is that kinda a bad thing to explore this mysterious trope? I love horror, shocker but it is one of my favorite things to came out of the human race, people are fucking terrifying. I sometimes feel like I am in a horror movie, I think there is a word for that. Now here is the thing about “Suspiria" that I really enjoyed was that avant-garde horror genre. Foreign movies are infanntly a different class of “spookies”. So because I have been all over the fucking place this week, and an ode to witches here are my top 10 fav witchy cult movies. 

Witch Movie Should YOU WATCH 

1. The Blair Witch Project … nothing is more scary than a first person movie. 
2. The Craft …. A classic for my 90s babes. 
3. Kiki’s Delivery Service…. My first actual movie with witches I thought were so cute.  
4. Hocus Pocus .. I saw this live a few years ago and I loved every moment. 
5. Rosemary’s Baby… Babies are terrifying. I don't ever want children. 
6. Casper and Wendy … a TV special. I think I still have this guy on VHS somewhere. 
7. Bell, Book & Candle … one of my favorite movies was vertigo that has the same vibes. I like old stuff. 
8. The Wizard of Oz…. My grandma played her in the adapted play version, and yes I liked Wicked. 
9. Spirited Away…. Humans are filthy, and you shouldn’t believe everything you read and see. 
10. Suspiria ….. See above.          I’ll see you next Wednesday! 

 Ash