Ash Wednesday! Stepping Stone

​Stepping Stone 
Written By: Ash Catcher 

​Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be. 
With whom you're meant to be with. 
And doing what you should be doing. 
It could take awhile, you used to say to me. …" Ash it could take awhile.”

You won’t be back to 100% overnight. 
There are going to be good nights and bad. 
The ones where you're alone all night, those get easier trust me. 
The ones you get to share with others, no matter what you two do will be etched into your brain forever.  

And all that extra stuff, all that static, all the little problems we make big. 
You’re going to look back on that in a year or so 
And a wave of relief will overcome you. 
Your face won’t be so flushed, your heartbeat will lower. 

Maybe you will be able to sleep without creating chaos beforehand. 
But then again, maybe you won’t. 
Maybe if I leave again after being gone for so long maybe you’ll look in the mirror one day and see. 
I was never meant to be a part of your life, that is why I felt the need to keep removing myself

I was simply a tool, or a stepping stone to get you where you need to be. 
I have been a lot of things in people's lives, but mostly it has been for practice.
I like when we part ways, they get their lives in order, 
And then apologize to me years later “ I am so sorry for the way I treated you in the past…. But I am not that person anymore…..” 

Bull Fuckin shit. 
I used to ask what they wanted but now I just screenshot the messages and go about my day. 
Call it pettiness, I call it growth. 
There is absolutely no reason to come back, if you felt the need to leave. 

The door doesn’t open both ways. 
This wood is so worn out. 
And my hinges are rusted. 
I am not willing to soften myself or them up
There is no amount of oil or lube that could soften the blow of you attempting to make your way back into your life. 

I write an awful lot, and the great thing about writing is that you can absolutely write off people. 
You will always have some story to tell, of whatever relevance you wish to compare. 
I like to tell stories, because I personally think it's an art form that is dying. 
Some people take them seriously and treat them like a warning. 

Forever everyone’s stepping stone. 
​
-Ash ​