Ash Wednesday: Punk Houses
Are Punk houses even still a thing? Let's take a moment to appreciate an ode to domesticated rental anarchy. Now I won’t pretend to deny when I was like maybe 15 it was my wet dream to be apart of some sort of weird art, and musical movement. Cause it 100% was, is, was…. I am still not sure anymore. Granted the DIY music scene houses a fair amount of “punk” bands, I personally find it to be [over-saturated] with nothing but bedroom pop, and a resurgence in the pop punk genre. I am so tired of hearing about heart break, and car crashes. We get it you’re sad, but c'mon clearly you don’t treat your things nicely. I am sure the car and the girl are both perfectly happy without you. I guess you have to stretch for material when you hail from the suburban death.
So what makes a punk house a punk house? The very concept of a permanent residence couldn’t be more further from punk. Basically the whole punk movement derived from hippy and bohemian counter culture, so why choose a house? Why are punk communes not a thing? Here is what I found on what makes a punk house, well a punk house:
1. The bathroom has no working light, no lock on the door, a vomit stained sink, a roll of toilet paper stolen from the gas station and you think to yourself, “Wow, this bathroom is really nice compared to the last one.” Bonus points if its in the actual "basement venue” Lots of unopened bars of soap of Irish Springs, but the same bar has been permanently solidified to the sink, its endearing to see something remain consistent, there will always be soap scum.
2. Someone's 'room' is a corner of the living room cordoned off by blankets hanging from the ceiling, think Jack Blacks “room” in the movie School of Rock.
3. You haven't eaten anything but donuts for 2 days because someone found a fuckton of them in the dumpster, same applies for pizza, fuck the amount of pizza!
4. If they really wanted to, the dogs could stage a coup and they would win, cause dog’s are cute as hell.
5. The person you're drinking with doesn't know your name, but they know the house's name, the house has a persona, and how many times they’ve puked in the recycling bin.
6. The house is pretty much fuckin' thrashed all the time, except for one pristine and oddly well swiffered corner where all the guitars live, no touchy, even the dust particles know better.
7. A stereo that sounds remarkably decent, considering it contains pieces of a dozen stereos put together, some dating back to the 50’s. It’s actually especially pleasing, clearly someone played Rock-band and Guitar Hero before they actually picked up a bass.
8. The almond milk is always left out overnight.
Overall, I have come to the confusing conclusion that Anarchy rules, and the dishes will always stay dirty, the trash will always be full, and the recycling is just a nice way of housing 45 empty PBR cans. But that can be said for any house were a bunch of people in their mid 20s and 30s cohabitate. The raccoons will be plentiful. Your bikes will take up more room in the living room than furniture, and that's okay cause the envoriment need to make a resurgence ...no hot water in a very rarely used shower, who cares hot water is for chumps, The...biggest fucking VHS and DVD collection in the city....you've lived in each room of the house for a period of time....and have causally hooked up with half your roommates. There's a spot in the basement where everyone knows not to stand during shows, because when anyone flushes the toilet upstairs, the pipe above it sprays toilet water everywhere. Every wall has scratches at waist level from belts. Everyone smokes cigarettes, despite eating primarily local, and organic. Everyone’s important, and familiarity breeds inevitable contempt for one another. It’s a punk rock soapless opera, and it sounds fucking rad.
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