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Ash Wednesday! Pandramatic: What Almost 2 Months In Self Isolation Have Taught Me About Myself And I.

5/12/2020

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In the words of the late, very much still alive, and great artist, Justin Timberlake, yes my dudes it is indeed May. That means that we are all approaching our 2 month isolationversery! Happy happy right? Long are the days forgotten when all we now say in reference to life before the Covid- 19 pandemic by simply saying " Before all this happened'' so here is what I learned about myself  ( so far) the past two months being single in this new germ order: ​
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The past few month, or so I began to really dive deep back into some of my passions. I am not just talking the typical reading all the books on my bucket list kinda thing either, I am talking the things I have not done in a The past few month, or so I began to really dive deep back into some of my passions. I am not just talking the typical reading all the books on my bucket list kinda thing either, I am talking the things I have not done in a freakin' long ass time. Whether it was due to constantly putting others before me, or simply being to bogged down with a rigid work schedule, it has been refreshing to say the least this uncertain times can bring such a creative spark. This pandemic has taught me to not only value myself over everyone else, but everything that I have done in the past few months has brought fourth a new resurgence of Ashness, is that even a thing?  long ass time. Whether it was due to constantly putting others before me, or simply being to bogged down with a rigid work schedule, it has been refreshing to say the least this uncertain times can bring such a creative spark. This pandemic has taught me to not only value myself over everyone else, but everything that I have done in the past few months has brought fourth a new resurgence of Ashness, is that even a thing? 
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I started incorporating daily practices, and activities that bring out the best in myself. AKA I am meditating every morning, I got to say at first it was a bitch, now I fuckin love it. Essentially after 2 solid months of self love, care, and improvement ya best watch out when I do actually feel comfortable to come out of my hermit mode, and finally decide to socialize again. I'll be honest with you I am simply having a bit too much fun with this. I think it is a super healthy thing to be able to sit with yourself, and really do a deep dive into your “Youness”. ​
While everyone is binge watching Netflix, and Disney + and venmoing their significant others for take out food, I bought myself a bike, and started cooking all of my meals again. I go for 10 mile runs, three times a week, in addition to writing these weekly article/ blog jawns, I am also hosting evening art classes, and daily discussions via zoom. It is certainly a transition, and I miss my art job like a mother. However this is just going to have to do for now. Needless to say I can’t wait to get back into the studio. ​
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Recently I have had in influx of freelance, and musicians come to me to do album art for them, this has been a great outlet for my creativity. Not only have I had some really great opportunities due to this pandemic, I have also found a new found love for painting again. I finally finished some long term painting projects, and I even have one going into a summer show at my local art center in the area that I live in. Needless to say I am taking this summer in stride. ​
I find that art, and writing especially hold a lot of comfort for me in times of stress, and mass world panic, oddly enough these past two months have been super abundant, and successful. I ain't complaining one bit it's just a bitch, and a half to go to the grocery store, but I am just more choosey with food so it's really not to much of a bother. While the whole world seems to be turning on its head I am just sitting here in silence plugging away on my Mac. Go figure right, who would have thought? Maybe it is because I am usually dealing with a certain amount of chaos, which I am sure like many people like myself thrive in, it's just another typical day. I go to work, I come home, make an instagramable meal, and then I go to my second job online at home which is great, and super convenient. I am hoping that these next few months things keep moving forward, and continue to be prosperous, and abundant. ​
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I am, in a very weird way thankful for this time to have worked out all these kinks that I have been ignoring, and in some ways been in denial about. The world is healing it's self, and along with it so am I in a stupid sense. I personally feel that things were not working in this world,  people were not as grateful, and thankful for the essentials, and one another.  I am not just talking about toilet paper either, I am talking about the illusive concept of genuine human connection. People seem to be showing more kindness towards one another. I don't know if it's just me, or the amount of spiritual shifting, and collective consciousness, I have been undergoing this past year but I am feeling strangely optimistic about the next half of 2020. Thanks for listening to my weekly rambles as always.  Until Next Wednesday.... ​

​-Ash
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