Ash Wednesday! Pandramatic: What Almost 2 Months In Self Isolation Have Taught Me About Myself And I.

In the words of the late, very much still alive, and great artist, Justin Timberlake, yes my dudes it is indeed May. That means that we are all approaching our 2 month isolationversery! Happy happy right? Long are the days forgotten when all we now say in reference to life before the Covid- 19 pandemic by simply saying " Before all this happened'' so here is what I learned about myself  ( so far) the past two months being single in this new germ order: ​

The past few month, or so I began to really dive deep back into some of my passions. I am not just talking the typical reading all the books on my bucket list kinda thing either, I am talking the things I have not done in a The past few month, or so I began to really dive deep back into some of my passions. I am not just talking the typical reading all the books on my bucket list kinda thing either, I am talking the things I have not done in a freakin' long ass time. Whether it was due to constantly putting others before me, or simply being to bogged down with a rigid work schedule, it has been refreshing to say the least this uncertain times can bring such a creative spark. This pandemic has taught me to not only value myself over everyone else, but everything that I have done in the past few months has brought fourth a new resurgence of Ashness, is that even a thing?  long ass time. Whether it was due to constantly putting others before me, or simply being to bogged down with a rigid work schedule, it has been refreshing to say the least this uncertain times can bring such a creative spark. This pandemic has taught me to not only value myself over everyone else, but everything that I have done in the past few months has brought fourth a new resurgence of Ashness, is that even a thing? 

I started incorporating daily practices, and activities that bring out the best in myself. AKA I am meditating every morning, I got to say at first it was a bitch, now I fuckin love it. Essentially after 2 solid months of self love, care, and improvement ya best watch out when I do actually feel comfortable to come out of my hermit mode, and finally decide to socialize again. I'll be honest with you I am simply having a bit too much fun with this. I think it is a super healthy thing to be able to sit with yourself, and really do a deep dive into your “Youness”. ​

While everyone is binge watching Netflix, and Disney + and venmoing their significant others for take out food, I bought myself a bike, and started cooking all of my meals again. I go for 10 mile runs, three times a week, in addition to writing these weekly article/ blog jawns, I am also hosting evening art classes, and daily discussions via zoom. It is certainly a transition, and I miss my art job like a mother. However this is just going to have to do for now. Needless to say I can’t wait to get back into the studio. ​

Recently I have had in influx of freelance, and musicians come to me to do album art for them, this has been a great outlet for my creativity. Not only have I had some really great opportunities due to this pandemic, I have also found a new found love for painting again. I finally finished some long term painting projects, and I even have one going into a summer show at my local art center in the area that I live in. Needless to say I am taking this summer in stride. ​

I find that art, and writing especially hold a lot of comfort for me in times of stress, and mass world panic, oddly enough these past two months have been super abundant, and successful. I ain't complaining one bit it's just a bitch, and a half to go to the grocery store, but I am just more choosey with food so it's really not to much of a bother. While the whole world seems to be turning on its head I am just sitting here in silence plugging away on my Mac. Go figure right, who would have thought? Maybe it is because I am usually dealing with a certain amount of chaos, which I am sure like many people like myself thrive in, it's just another typical day. I go to work, I come home, make an instagramable meal, and then I go to my second job online at home which is great, and super convenient. I am hoping that these next few months things keep moving forward, and continue to be prosperous, and abundant. ​

I am, in a very weird way thankful for this time to have worked out all these kinks that I have been ignoring, and in some ways been in denial about. The world is healing it's self, and along with it so am I in a stupid sense. I personally feel that things were not working in this world,  people were not as grateful, and thankful for the essentials, and one another.  I am not just talking about toilet paper either, I am talking about the illusive concept of genuine human connection. People seem to be showing more kindness towards one another. I don't know if it's just me, or the amount of spiritual shifting, and collective consciousness, I have been undergoing this past year but I am feeling strangely optimistic about the next half of 2020. Thanks for listening to my weekly rambles as always.  Until Next Wednesday.... ​

​-Ash