Ash Wednesday! GotCHA

GotCHA
Written By: Ash Catcher 

Friday is July 1st, it is my cat’s adoption/birthday. 
We won’t be having a party, as he will be asleep again by mid day. 
He is old, and lazy, and cake is hardly okay. 
To give to a cat, let alone a former stray. 

And what do you get the cat that has just about everything? 
Out of everyone in my house he gets the most packages, from my understanding. 
A rushed automatic feeder, controlled by WIFI, why the fuck not. 
But if you know me by now the cat is gonna get a killer card. 

I can't believe I officially adopted you 2 years ago. 
We have a lot to do this year, I am thinking Halloween, you should go as a mango. 
You’ll be 12.. or 13 I am still not quite sure, ew were old, but I love our naps together. 
But you still paint my kitchen with mouse brains, try cleaning that up sober. 

That wasn’t our best day, and you go to the vet a lot. 
But as a first time pet owner, and your mama you know I’ll do my part. 
I love everything about you even when you meow in my face when I am working. 
Forever my shadow, especially when I am trying to film a video, and cooking. 

Constant content forever, my socials and heart are all yours. 
The only man who ever really cares about me, Food driven? Me too- I am taking all the human food if we get divorced. 
I am kidding, I am happy I took you, because I knew something told me not to leave you. 
I am not sure if it was our matching eyes that won me over, or if it was my need to be the hero and rescue. 

I am happy to have you and I gotcha for good. 
I couldn’t have you out there in the cold nights, in the neighborhood. 
1 night on the warming pad, and afternoon in the cat hut. 
Fuck it come inside, and in you came in without coaxing, just your signature strut. 

I know as a cancer we tend to move fast but damn. 
You come over every night now, you moved in, and now you’re fam. 
I can't imagine having any other pet. 
But If I had to get you a brother or sister- I would be playing cat roulette. 

I joke about getting you a friend, but you seem to like being an old child. 
Independent, self sufficient, got me wrapped around you and beguiled. 
Sneaky and foxy, but semi retired, no more lizards to chase, or trash to devour. 
Happy Birthday- gotcha day! I love you so much Banner! 

-Ash