BLWTF: That One Time I Got Asphyxiated On B.L.T.s
Written By: Ash Wednesday
Happy Wednesday! This past summer at the tender age of 31 I, Ash Wednesday discovered B.L.T.s and over the course of about a fortnight, they just got increasingly more ridiculous- ( because well it's me) but still maintaining their bacon integrity. I am trying to recall but I am pretty sure half way through week one I got some gnarly heart palpitations and maybe I should cool it on the BLTs though. But it was brief. Every lunch at this one cafe that I worked at I added at first an egg, because why not it's always breakfast when you wake up at 4am and serve the general public jumping bean juice.
And then an egg and avocado, which cost extra but I never paid my tab so I was like fuck it load me up I want to fork and knife this sandwich and have it all fall apart. Very messy do not recommend either the egg or avocado both created some structural fopa to this B.L.T and kinda made it a bit of a B.L.W.T.F are you doing Ash??!!!!! This is becoming a kitchen nighttime escapade. Maybe you need to lay off your pen on your smoke break. The chef definitely knew.
I think that the most outlandish and this sandwich had just about every ingredient offered slapped between two pieces of rye they were/ are as follows cause I kinda wanna recreate this one at home: Pesto Mayo, THE B, THE L, THE T, THE AVOCADO, and THE SALMON! It is a great big clusterfuck, yes I had to unhinge my jaw to eat it, it did require to be forked and knifed to bits, I was late coming back from break, and just like when I was little at the dinner table I chewed so much I forgot how to swallow. Insert a tasteful and tactical joke. Short story: bacon is amazing, I added it to pasta the other night for dinner and maybe half the bacon I cooked ended up in the dish. The other I consumed while cooking and became snacking bacon. I know I am about a decade late on the bacon trend, but I think I have been finally pegged.
I get it: salty, faty, acid goes on and with anything solid or in a jam, it's great it's gonna kill me but it's great. I am actually gonna probably make it for dinner when I get home tonight.
Catch Ya Later!