Ash Wednesday! ​Academona

​Academona
Written by: Ash Catcher 

​Woke up around 1 am my back wet with blood of the crying eyes and tears from the children that have part. 
This one felt so real I woke up in haste 
The classroom once alive all a buzz.
Now all filled with lifeless bodies and sobs. 

I was seeing pictures of the past 
Then I saw red 
Grabbed my phone and my bag and laid down on the ground.
The blood splattered all over my face. 
The kids body parts all over the place. 
I am sick to my stomach that is thankfully still intact
Just like on orientation day;
I looked to my right and I looked to my left. 

Not a soul was left standing 
I grabbed a few things and left. 
Do you take the stairs?
(You could use the exercise) 
It's faster I can barely hear myself think 
Over the constant sound of the bullets hitting the class room floor in unison. It's mostly clatters and clinks.

That hit the floor. 
Just like the kids.
I just wanted to teach.
This shit is so cringe.

I am not what to believe in. 
Some days I feel like I am teaching little demons. 
So I decided to take the stairs and come what may. 
I've been wanting to end things for awhile why delay. 

These people's ideas of teaching are so versatile and screwed. 
The system was beyond broken back in my day. 
How do you fix something that has been weaken and paraded on political display. 

I am so desensitized to this bull shit, barely anything can faze me these days. 
But I'll be damned that even if in my dreams are soaked with this senselessness classisim Cabernet. 

My brains been on the warpath lately. 
Thinking of getting another certaifcarion after this event, wish they would teach more people about safety. 

But no way had I imagined I would have to use what I know.
Like how to pack a bullet wound in a 3rd graders leg is something I never would have known what to have done. 
It's hard to teach kids when they resemble Swiss cheese. 
You shouldn't have to risk your health and life (savings) just to get your highschool degree. 

- Ash 

For a little context: 

I have taught at a high school for the past 6 months ( it's a night program, teaching adults that are working towards their highschool education degree)  while it is hands down one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had and continue to work at it is also terrible to see the decline of education in my city. 

How students treat their education, each other, and staff have been so negative it is impossible for teachers to be both present in the classroom, and to be some sort of psydo psychologist. I've learned so much from my students, not just about teaching but also so many life skills. To the students that have prioritized their education and have stuck with my class the entire semester, module, whatever you want to call it dispite interruptions from your students, family, and even yourselves at times, hats off to you guys I am so excited for you and some of the new jobs. I'll see you in the hallways that hopefully a bit more brighter this upcoming semester with more students. 

Just don't forget your super cool art teacher!