Like Father Written by Ash Wednesday We're both delusional if we think we're going to break one another's routine for the other. I couldn't even fathom finding time in my intentionally packed schedule. And you can't even bother to be in this state for more than a week. I think you have more in common with the those ex's to you have never met Hiding them from you but you're all both avoidant and voided of love There is an airiness to you Like you'll blow away with the slightest inconvenience You'll pop up one day out of nowhere like a stranger Who the fuck wants to keep entertaining a stranger A picture from the past sent my way You got to be high if you think this is trying your best I hate these low attempts of communication I liked it better when you were throwing handwrittens in my general direction. But please keep in mind you have more in common with an ex partner and that isn't the father issues coming to light it couldn't be father from the truth that would require me to have a dad and that hasn't been you. This is a generational habit that I am breaking I am not choosing to entertain these attempts But as I am writing all this I am shaking Be cause to reject you would be like rejecting a part of myself I think I am ok with hurting this part of me It's the greatest gift to myself To hold myself to nobody's standing I'll die on this hill crafted with planning Like Father faster to be an avoidant Negated variable I am stricken from the record and family albums I find this both endearing and adorable That you would go to such efforts to kill me and then try to recess a broken long drawn out abusive relationship that you refuse to address. Just wait till the end, I'll think of you less I will not be present
I will not shead a tear I have cried all the cries I have said all that I fear Like Father from the truth I wish you could see To reject you is to reject a small part of me And I wrote this for you but also for the others Who think they can just leave me alone And time and time come back in for another Chance? I don't think so. Why would I repeat cycles from long ago. A.W.
1 Comment
Father
8/10/2024 08:37:53 pm
Well said, if not misdirected. Sorry you feel this way but I don’t feel the same about you…which is ok.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
CategoriesArchives
August 2023
|